Gender and sexuality issues

[zoe marie]

My friend and I have been debating on what we call normal with regards to gender and sexuality!

My answer is that maybe we aren't born straight but actually gay and female - then turn straight or male or both!

 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject - whether you agree or have another theory???

[alextrusca]

don't know really what to say about this.....i read once and talked with a psychologist that people really are bi (at birth) and with time some turn straight, some turn gay/lesbian and other remain bi. I don't know what to say about this because I've never been attracted to women, maybe I will be some day. :laugh: :laugh:

[abbie]

i'm slightly confused about what you mean.

 

but my opinion is that there is no definite sexuality like gay or straight, but maybe we are all shades of one. in the same way that people all have eyes but of different shapes, sizes, colours it is the same for me with sexuality.

 

i don't think i explained that very well. but that's what i think.

[Black Kitten]

in complete darkness we are all the same. it is only our knowledge and wisdom that separates us. don't let your eyes deceive you

 

randomness LOL

 

but it is true. gender was never an issue for me. straight, gay, lesbian, bi, whatevah! we are all human being. i just don't understand the point of gay discrimination. i love being with them!

Edited May 18, 2008 by dhena

[CelineAndRene]

Well.. hmmm i think we are all born non straight, or gay, but our experiences in life shape what we become

[Jacqui]

Maybe we're all both...just to different degrees...like, someone could be 99% straight and 1% gay, and another person could be 50/50, another 30/70, or whatever. I don't think there's any such thing as "normal", in life. We all change and grow, and we make choices about who we want to be with and what we want to do with our feelings.

[SharmellaAntoinette_]

in complete darkness we are all the same. it is only our knowledge and wisdom that separates us. don't let your eyes deceive you

 

 

nice to see janet fans on here

 

rhythm nation is such a good album isnt it! lol

 

 

 

...end of the day guys we are all the same its just a matter of accepting it. hopefully one day gayness will be an everyday thing and people will think nothing of it at all.

[Black Kitten]

in complete darkness we are all the same. it is only our knowledge and wisdom that separates us. don't let your eyes deceive you

 

 

nice to see janet fans on here

 

rhythm nation is such a good album isnt it! lol

 

 

 

...end of the day guys we are all the same its just a matter of accepting it. hopefully one day gayness will be an everyday thing and people will think nothing of it at all.

almost everyone know i am a huge janet jackson fan. celine, mariah and janet 4life!

 

On April 26, 2008, Jackson received the Vanguard Award—a media award from the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation to honor members of the entertainment community who have made a significant difference in promoting equal rights for LGBT people—at the 19th Annual GLAAD Media Awards. Jackson also appeared in a public service announcement sponsored by Logo and GLSEN—the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network—in response to the E.O. Green School shooting.

... in relation to the topic.

 

gotta love this woman!

[hamiltonclare]

I think sexuality is a wide spectrum, one end being 100% gay, the other end 100% straight, though I don't think that anyone is 100% either.

I teetered between 50% and now hover around 90% (at the gay end) but thats not to say that if a guy came along who was right for me that I wouldn't settle down with 2.4 children and a dog and holidays in the country. I think that 'normal' is undefinable where sexuality is concerned, I'm pretty sure that I'm normal, and I'm pretty sure that my sister who is in a heterosexual relationship is normal.

 

nor·mal (from dictionary.com)

–adjective 1. conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

2. serving to establish a standard.

 

Clare x

[Nmj]

I Dissagree with some of you guys....I Believe NOBODY is born Gay or Lesbian...that's their lifestyle choice...and I don't really care what people choose, but in every single book of warship Like: the Bible , Koran ect all say Gays and Lesbians are making sins in the name of god...and I Agree....I'm Straight and I think every man and women are born that why until their brain tells them otherwise....WHICH is a SIN

-Nmj

Edited May 20, 2008 by Nmj

[tonybower]

If homosexuality were a choice why would so many people become depressed, or live a life of shame or lies, or even commit suicide because they are gay? Would it not be easier to 'choose' heterosexuality?

 

Homosexuality as a life-choice is absurd! Of course, some choose to embrace it more than others but people who deny the genetic factor are not being entirely reasonable.

[hamiltonclare]

I Dissagree with some of you guys....I Believe NOBODY is born Gay or Lesbian...that's their lifestyle choice...and I don't really care what people choose, but in every single book of warship Like: the Bible , Koran ect all say Gays and Lesbians are making sins in the name of god...and I Agree....I'm Straight and I think every man and women are born that why until their brain tells them otherwise....WHICH is a SIN

-Nmj

 

Whilst I appreciate your point of view, I believe that God made man IN HIS OWN IMAGE, which means that he made me the way I am...therefore, not a sin.

 

And a large factor in the incidence of homosexual (male and female) suicides and attempted suicides is societys' readiness to discriminate and alienate us. Have you ever heard of straight-bashing? No, me neither. (Not having a dig at you Tony x)

[Nmj]

I know that alot of people here in this topic would not agree with me, and that's O.K but I just like to voice my opinions and I believe in faith that god makes..all his humans straight and then from there they choose their lifesyle...in some cases if gay or lesbian...resulting in a sin.

-Nmj

[GoldenLeaf]

Well.. hmmm i think we are all born non straight, or gay, but our experiences in life shape what we become

That's the best answer in this topic. :specool:

I totally agree with you!

[GoldenLeaf]

I know that alot of people here in this topic would not agree with me, and that's O.K but I just like to voice my opinions and I believe in faith that god makes..all his humans straight and then from there they choose their lifesyle...in some cases if gay or lesbian...resulting in a sin.

-Nmj

OMFG! I can't believe I'm reading such outrageous things! If you think that being homosexual is resulting in a sin then I guess you don't consider gays or lesbians like normal people.

Edited May 21, 2008 by Calypso

[Jacqui]

I'm a Christian, I was raised Catholic, and I believe in God completely. But it bothers me when people say being gay is a sin. I know the Bible says it, and that's why people here, and all through the world are saying it, because we're told that's how things are. But we're also told not to judge others.

And here's my problem with it: We're told that God is loving and accepting, yet we're also told he could reject us based on who we fall in love with? The Bible is full of stories of people who are forgiven for wars and killing, yet we're told we won't be forgiven just for loving a member of the same sex?

I should probably say at this point, I'm not gay...but I can imagine how I would feel if I fell deeply in love with someone and was told it was "wrong" or "a sin." If at any point I had to choose my religion over the love of my life, I don't know that I could do it. And I want to see my gay friends happy, not miserable and feeling guilty.

[hamiltonclare]

Jacqui - very eloquently said. Thanks for your support.

 

NMJ - I'm a Christian too. BUT, I cannot agree that being gay is a sin than. But then, the bible does condone rape, doesn't it, in Judges 21:10-24.

I didn't choose to be gay - in fact I really tried hard not to be!! Lets hope that none of your children ever grown up to be anything other than heterosexual, because there is nothing worse than your own parents being disgusted with you.

 

Note to all - I am really not trying to cause an inflammatory debate with the above comment, but I am shocked, that in this day and age that people still believe that being gay is a crime, a sin, not normal, or wrong.

[Frida]

I Dissagree with some of you guys....I Believe NOBODY is born Gay or Lesbian...that's their lifestyle choice...and I don't really care what people choose, but in every single book of warship Like: the Bible , Koran ect all say Gays and Lesbians are making sins in the name of god...and I Agree....I'm Straight and I think every man and women are born that why until their brain tells them otherwise....WHICH is a SIN

-Nmj

 

I respect your opinion, I really do, but let me ask you this: How the h*ll (excuse me, but I couldn't NOT put that word there) can a straight person POSSIBLY know that being gay is a CHOICE? You're STRAIGHT.... that doesn't make any sense to me.. at all.. I can't tell you how it feels to walk ont he moon cause I haven't been there, I can't tell you what it feels like to walk on the great wall, cause you know what? I haven't been there in real life, I can't say that cuttlefish is gross cause I haven't tried it...

 

You are NOT gay, so therefor you can't know, can you?

 

Oh, and about the bible: everyone interpret it in different ways, I will NOT get into that, but let's not be amish here please... we're in the 21st century for gods sake...

 

 

But back to the question. The bible aside, think for yourself for a second: How can you possibly know something you haven't experienced?

[Frida]

but I am shocked, that in this day and age that people still believe that being gay is a crime, a sin, not normal, or wrong.

 

Yeah But they don't know what they're talking about, really...

[zoe marie]

Depending on your view in some respects how can anyone say being yourself is wrong and as for the bible it was interteped wrong so like you say they are "stories" in a book!!!

 

Being gay is not a lifestyle but a life - you CANNOT chose to be gay the same as you CANNOT chose to be straight, male or female

 

Really do appreciate all of your comments on what started as a SIMPLE question about how we are BORN!!!

[Krys]

I Dissagree with some of you guys....I Believe NOBODY is born Gay or Lesbian...that's their lifestyle choice...and I don't really care what people choose, but in every single book of warship Like: the Bible , Koran ect all say Gays and Lesbians are making sins in the name of god...and I Agree....I'm Straight and I think every man and women are born that why until their brain tells them otherwise....WHICH is a SIN

-Nmj

 

 

I know that alot of people here in this topic would not agree with me, and that's O.K but I just like to voice my opinions and I believe in faith that god makes..all his humans straight and then from there they choose their lifesyle...in some cases if gay or lesbian...resulting in a sin.

-Nmj

 

see? this is what makes me pissed religious books are more like guidelines and you should not revolve your life around a book. its a BOOK. if homosexuals are a sin in the eyes of god, why are we created? i hate the fact that some people just slap these remarks on others who does not necessarily believe in them themselves. its rather insulting. how would you feel if there's something that says "being a boy is a sin"?

 

@ Frida: i totally agree with you gurl!

[Black Kitten]

"being gay is a sin" is one of the most ridiculous phrases i have ever seen. did the gays choose to become who they are? i guess, no. i have great respect to gays and lesbians. it's sooooo unfair for their part to accuse them a "sinner" just because they are born "gays". it's pathetic that some people only depends on what they are reading and not seeing the true value of the people around them. what if a gay is a good individual? if a gay never ceases to praise god in every single day of his life? is it fair to call him a "sinner" because he is still gay after all? let's just open our mind. i am not saying that we should not believe in the Holy Bible, but we have our own way of thinking.

[tonybower]

I won't say people are born straight or gay. But I do believe genetics plays a very important rule. Obviously society and upbringing and education will all play a role too. My friend knew he was gay at the age of 8! That was not a choice! How could an 8 year old who had never been exposed to the laws of attraction choose to be gay? He probably didn't even know the word 'gay' at that stage. In his case, genetics clearly has a much bigger impact.

 

I have another friend who is deeply attracted to women but whose religious faith causes such conflict inside her that she can not bring herself to have a relationship with a woman. It's devastating because if the Catholic doctrine weren't so deeply instilled she would be able to live a much more fulfilled life. She is making a choice: that is NOT acting on her homosexual tendencies, but she is still gay. She might not know true happiness as a result and maybe live in permanent turmoil.

 

I was brought up Catholic but I am not practicing. Nor am I atheist, but I do not believe that God would condemn homosexuality. Religion is used far too often as a means of brainwashing and is responsible for untold miseries and suffering in the history of the world. If there is a God, I hardly think he owuld want his word to be used to inflict any kind of pain on others.

 

I believe attraction and sexuality are completely physical and chemical. It is not mental, and therefore I don't think people have a choice. They can CHOOSE to follow their instincts and embrace their sexuality, or they can choose to surpress their true feelings, but they will always remain straight or gay or whatever...!

 

I know many gay people and have seen some of them struggle with their identity, suffer in silence... to say they chose that life is plainly ridiculous. They were born or developed a certain way, and they should be free to live their lives as openly and as guilt-free as everybody else.

 

Too much religion seems to be about how many ways it is possible to reduce our experience of pleasurable things in this life... if it feels good or right, then it must be wrong. I can't quite equate that to my idea of God, I'm afraid...

[Ray]

Of course people are born gay. I know twins. And one of them is gay and the other isn't. So it has nothing to do with how you're brought up or what experciences you have in life.

 

About the Bible. It's so unfortunate that people don't read it well. There's only in ONE place in the Bible where it says that you "shouldn't be gay". On that very same page, it tells you:

- to ONLY eat meat one the same day the animal has been killed (or the next day). What's still left on the third day should be burned.

- NOT to wear any clothes which are made from more than one material.

- NOT to eat meat with blood. (steak)

- to KILL people who cheat on their wife. BOTH people must be killed: the woman and the man who cheat.

 

I wonder if people who stand by the thought of being gay is a sin, also stay true on the rest of which is said on that very same page...

[zoe marie]

Of course people are born gay. I know twins. And one of them is gay and the other isn't. So it has nothing to do with how you're brought up or what experciences you have in life.

 

About the Bible. It's so unfortunate that people don't read it well. There's only in ONE place in the Bible where it says that you "shouldn't be gay". On that very same page, it tells you:

- to ONLY eat meat one the same day the animal has been killed (or the next day). What's still left on the third day should be burned.

- NOT to wear any clothes which are made from more than one material.

- NOT to eat meat with blood. (steak)

- to KILL people who cheat on their wife. BOTH people must be killed: the woman and the man who cheat.

 

I wonder if people who stand by the thought of being gay is a sin, also stay true on the rest of which is said on that very same page...

 

Very well put I couldn't agree more! I cannot see people agreeing with the rest of what is said and yet they still quote the bible about gayness being a sin. If the bible was to be read properly then no one should do anything on a sunday as no matter what version you read or what relgion you are the Bible states that Sunday is a day of rest yet no one follows that anymore either DO THEY

[Nmj]

I Dissagree with some of you guys....I Believe NOBODY is born Gay or Lesbian...that's their lifestyle choice...and I don't really care what people choose, but in every single book of warship Like: the Bible , Koran ect all say Gays and Lesbians are making sins in the name of god...and I Agree....I'm Straight and I think every man and women are born that why until their brain tells them otherwise....WHICH is a SIN

-Nmj

 

 

I know that alot of people here in this topic would not agree with me, and that's O.K but I just like to voice my opinions and I believe in faith that god makes..all his humans straight and then from there they choose their lifesyle...in some cases if gay or lesbian...resulting in a sin.

-Nmj

 

see? this is what makes me pissed religious books are more like guidelines and you should not revolve your life around a book. its a BOOK. if homosexuals are a sin in the eyes of god, why are we created? i hate the fact that some people just slap these remarks on others who does not necessarily believe in them themselves. its rather insulting. how would you feel if there's something that says "being a boy is a sin"?

 

@ Frida: i totally agree with you gurl!

 

 

I Knew I was going to get alot of sh*t for saying what i did , But after all this a thread about thoughts and our personal opinions right, I Believe deeply as a Muslim in my faith and that our book of warship in saying these actions are sinful, and to answer the question someone asked How would i know if thats a sin if i'm not a gay man, well i beleive that our books of warship dont lie.. and another answer to someones question...YES i believe thats gays, lesbians, bisexuals are normal people that just so happen to be making a sin...but i deeply respect people of all kinds and there choice is their choice

-Nmj

[Nmj]

I Dissagree with some of you guys....I Believe NOBODY is born Gay or Lesbian...that's their lifestyle choice...and I don't really care what people choose, but in every single book of warship Like: the Bible , Koran ect all say Gays and Lesbians are making sins in the name of god...and I Agree....I'm Straight and I think every man and women are born that why until their brain tells them otherwise....WHICH is a SIN

-Nmj

 

 

I know that alot of people here in this topic would not agree with me, and that's O.K but I just like to voice my opinions and I believe in faith that god makes..all his humans straight and then from there they choose their lifesyle...in some cases if gay or lesbian...resulting in a sin.

-Nmj

 

see? this is what makes me pissed religious books are more like guidelines and you should not revolve your life around a book. its a BOOK. if homosexuals are a sin in the eyes of god, why are we created? i hate the fact that some people just slap these remarks on others who does not necessarily believe in them themselves. its rather insulting. how would you feel if there's something that says "being a boy is a sin"?

 

@ Frida: i totally agree with you gurl!

[abbie]

religion: god delusion based on fairytale, myth and fantasy

[hamiltonclare]

Oh there is SO much that I could reply but I won't, because I do believe that everyone has freedom of speech and a right to their own beliefs. BUT, it bothers me that anyone, Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Amish wouldn't make their own decisions but base their opinions on a religious text, written thousands of years ago by scholars and clerics whose aim was to make their illiterate and uninformed followers agree to their opinions.

 

As Ray pointed out, the verse in the Bible which speaks out against homosexuality also condones the murder of adulterers. Modern day thinking doesn't condone murder, nor should it condone the labelling of normal human beings, who happen to sleep with a member of the same gender, as sinners. The bible can be interpreted however you want to interpret it, or however those clever people who translated it want you to understand it. Now I am not all that familiar with the Koran, but I am pretty sure that the same can be said for the clever people who translated it, and I am just as sure that it can be interpreted however you want to understand it.

 

I am honestly glad for you nmj, (and absolutely no sarcasm, inferred or otherwise intended) that you have not had to go through the pain and confusion that I and the majority of other gay people have had to endure when the realisation that you might not fancy Joe Soccer Hero, but infact you're rather taken with Jessica, the head cheerleader hits you. The hardest part is admitting it to yourself, THEN you have the fear that your friends and family will disown you because you're not like them. You feel awkward holding your partners hand in the street because you're scared that you'll be the victim of abuse. You wish that you could take a pill that will make you like everyone else, because you didn't choose to be this way, or you settle down with a guy (or gal) who you quite like as a friend, make yourself miserable, have a couple of kids and then divorce, make everyone miserable and have a generally crap life. Being gay is not a choice - believe me, I'd be the one taking the blue pill.

 

I'm not giving you sh*t at all, I'm actually really impressed that you have the balls to state your opinion and stand by it, I just fail to understand how one cannot come to his own conclusion about such matters. But then, my Grandma would probably think I am a sinner if she knew that my friend Sooz is more than just a friend lol.

 

Clare x

[Nmj]

Hey Clare,

Thankyou so much for your kind words...that means alot to me...that's just goes to show that gay and lesbians are normal people and I never ever even doubted that they were not normal...I just simply stated the way i believe and thats just me... I think alot of people disagree strongly with me, and the fact that I'm a Male very dedicated to CELINE DION but straight is very rare , she is amazing and I'm straight , but the fact is Celine is just great no matter ones sexual prefrence..... But Honestly, I have absolutly nothing against Gays or Lesbians ...we all are humans first, Right?

-Nmj