960 replies to this topic

[mazceline]

Suns out think its gonna be a nice day,.,.,.,,.,,.,.

[Jacqui]

I don't think I've posted in this thread before, but I have suffered from depression, on and off, for years. Anxiety disorder too, which makes matters worse I have good days and bad days, but I'm finally ok with talking about it...I think it's important to have an understanding of it.

[mazceline]

yes you need to understand its an ilness like any other, it takes control of your life anxiety is something that also controls what you do your fear everything with more people understood , and did not use it as an excuse like i feel depressed today , it doesnt ever last a day

[Jacqui]

Exactly, it's very hard to control the way we feel, and we definitely don't want to feel this way. It can really take over when you don't understand why you feel all these horrible things And yes, there's a difference between feeling sad for a day, and having depression.

[mazceline]

best way i feel is to talk and listen to others and realise ya not the only one x

[KimboCosmo]

Well we are all here for each other     Anything ya wanna talk about!

[mazceline]

hell yes this place helped me and many others over the years id be lost without Celine and celine channel forum x x

[Jacqui]

Ok...so I'm kind of upset. I feel really stupid even typing this post, but it's this, or try to sleep, and I can't sleep.
My family and I have been through a lot of dramas in the past 8 months, with people close to us in hospital, people we love dying, and a lot of other changes going on. Things have been so busy I haven't had much time to stop and think about the pain it's caused us. I've just been kind of functioning, moving ahead with everything I've had to do, rather than stopping and getting emotional about it. I guess I've been trying to avoiding confronting my feelings because I'm scared of getting caught up in depression and anxiety again, and feeling as bad as I did in the past. I know how it is to feel so crappy you can't even get out of bed, and I really don't want to go back to that. I get mad at myself for crying...I know Celine said crying is good, letting it out, and I like that theory but it does NOT feel good. It's also making me frustrated with the people I love when they get upset, because I don't know how to handle it.
So I guess it's kind of getting to me again...the main problem tonight, is that my Grandfather is going through a really messy divorce. Even though I don't like his wife and I will not miss her, it sucks to see how badly she's treated him, how much pain she put him through- and all while he's been, and still is, in hospital trying to recover from cancer! It kind of makes me lose my faith in humanity and love a little bit, to see right in front of me how a marriage turned into a bunch of AVOs and court orders. It's kind of affecting a lot of the relationships in my life too, old trust issues are resurfacing, and I feel like I don't want to open up to anyone. I guess that's why I'm writing this now, to try not to shut down emotionally again.
When my family and friends can't really help, my pets and Celine, and faith, are kind of my reasons to keep hoping, but when I feel this way I end up worrying so much that something bad will happen to them. Which is probably why I worry so much every single time Celine cries, or my bird even so much as sneezes (that would be the anxiety disorder, most likely?!)
Anyway, I will shut up now. If anyone has any ideas on how to cope with this crap, let me know.

[mazceline]

Its all well and good functioning making sure everyone else around us are ok, looking out for them, being there support, but one day you run out of the energy and it all catches up on you, all your hurt and feelings that you pushed aside, you need to think real hard about the things that are getting to you and one by one try to look into ways of getting on top os it, easy said than done i know, soon as the depression sets the panic the anxietys start.
  You need to forget others problems, and try to keep a little faith in humanity, things happen we learn from them if we dont they will keep eating away at us, i know you said your scared you will get caught up in the depression but pushing it away will head to a bigger fall

just keep talking one step at a time , im a big believer in talking yaself well

x x x

[Jacqui]

Thanks I'll keep trying to deal with it. Things are a little more peaceful today, but I doubt it'll last long.

[KimboCosmo]

Hope you get to feeling better, life sucks sometimes...we all go through crap...

[shakiria]

ive had depression for years now but im coping for my kids sake and six mths ago i become a mum again good thing is ive controled my depression for ny kids sake yet i stll have bad days

[CelineRose2008]

Oh My God its nice to know that im not the only one who is going though this       
ive had a very hard life my childhood was very bad lots of bad stuff happen to me
on my good days im good but on my bad days i dont want get up or leave the house
what always gets me though is my husband and our five year old christina
the are my world i love them very much         

[KimboCosmo]

Yeah...thats good, you have your kids to think about

[Edwin]

One of my friends who has suffered from so many eye problems, he is basically blind had to have one of them removed yesterday. It was seriously infected and causing him other neuro problems such as terrible headaches. I've at a loss for words to help him, all I can feel is so sad for him but how is that going to help him? I really wish there was more that could be done medically for him. He is such a brilliant person, and he keeps his personal emotions to himself but this must be tough for him.

[Jacqui]

Aw I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, that must be awful for him! I guess all you can do is be there if he needs to talk, and let him know you won't treat him any differently. He will be in my prayers.

[sova]

i wanted to make a suicide a few months ago

[Jacqui]

Aww no, don't ever do that! As crappy as life can be sometimes, it can always get better. And it will. Really.

[sova]

yeah,but sometimes it's so hard.....

[Jacqui]

Believe me, I know. I just figure there has to be a reason for it all, for life, and for pain and suffering. And all our experiences make us stronger, better people. Even if all we have is someone we love, and a little bit of hope, we're still blessed. Anyway, if you need to talk, you can PM me or E-mail or whatever.

[sova]

Jacqui, on Nov 1 2008, 12:56 PM, said:

Believe me, I know. I just figure there has to be a reason for it all, for life, and for pain and suffering. And all our experiences make us stronger, better people. Even if all we have is someone we love, and a little bit of hope, we're still blessed. Anyway, if you need to talk, you can PM me or E-mail or whatever.

thanks

[autumnskies00]

The worst part about being sad is that no one has asked me if I'm okay. All my 'friends' and family know I just went through my parents divorce and they all know how much trouble I'm having finding a job out of college...but no one has taken the time to ask 'are you alright?'. I think that is what hurts the most. Feeling completely alone through it all.

Sorry, I know this topic is old.

[Edwin]

autumnskies00, on Nov 12 2008, 11:46 AM, said:

The worst part about being sad is that no one has asked me if I'm okay. All my 'friends' and family know I just went through my parents divorce and they all know how much trouble I'm having finding a job out of college...but no one has taken the time to ask 'are you alright?'. I think that is what hurts the most. Feeling completely alone through it all.

Sorry, I know this topic is old.

This topic should be posted in as often as someone needs to. My personal belief is that they don't want to put you on the spot asking you about those sensitive issues. But if they aren't asking you how you are, and you want to talk about it, actively start a dialogue with them. Keep us posted, and feel free to message me if you want to talk more

[autumnskies00]

Thank you. Theres just so many things going on all at once its a lot to handle. For example, right now, I'm having trouble finding a job. I got a call from someone up in boston about a job, but I have no interest in the job and I'm not interested in moving to Boston. I don't want be even more unhappy doing something I don't want, but I feel like every (family and friends) are pressuring me into it. It sort of makes me feel like a burdon and like I should just go to make them happy.

[takeachance]

autumnskies00, on Nov 12 2008, 08:01 PM, said:

Thank you. Theres just so many things going on all at once its a lot to handle. For example, right now, I'm having trouble finding a job. I got a call from someone up in boston about a job, but I have no interest in the job and I'm not interested in moving to Boston. I don't want be even more unhappy doing something I don't want, but I feel like every (family and friends) are pressuring me into it. It sort of makes me feel like a burdon and like I should just go to make them happy.

Dont be pressurised into taking it!! It will all work out...

[Petra5]

i never had depression, i hope i'll never have it......

i think i wouldn't be so strong without my parents, they're both amazing. I love them. they made me strong. specialy my dad, when i was younger and i cried he did't asked what's wrong, he just huged me, and let me cry in his arms. I'll always love them for what they did for me.

i don't think i can talk like the ones who had depression here but i'm trying to help.....when i fell sad i cry a lot. crying helps to get your pain out.

[reamary]

Thought I'd write here cause I'm feeling so crappy at the moment, once again. I just cried a good bit, like almost every day this past week. There were so many reasons for it again I think, just too much stress and other things. Everything's a little tricky in my life at the moment, I've been living at my parents' house for practically this whole fall, cause I haven't really been able to stay at my own place. But it's starting to feel that I can't really stay here either, cause there's no real space for me, I feel I'm in everyone's way from time to times, and I don't have much privacy, cause I don't have my own room or anything like that here, nor lockers or some place to keep my things. Of course I don't expect to have that, because I've been living away for 4 years, so I can't "demand" it either, but it's starting to be complicated living like this. Then I have all the classes in the university, and my "proseminaire" that I should be writing, but it's so hard cause I can't find the time here to do it. We should proceed every week and write several pages and that too is starting to be hard, I can't concentrate on it hard enough. But of course the teachers don't know what is going on in my private life so I don't have any excuses for them.   Then there's the thing with my sister, I think we've been pretty close before, when I wasn't staying here (she's only 18 and also lives here with my parents), very often we got together on Saturdays and did stuff together, and we've been going to the gym together and things like that. But now I feel she's kinda like "slipping away", I don't know how to explain it, but like we don't do those things that much anymore. And of course she has her own friends and she should spend time with them too, but I do feel something has changed. And I have cut down all sports that I do, I used to go to spinning classes and to the gym several times a week, but lately I haven't. I get so nervous and don't feel so good when I do spinning nowadays. And I'm so angry of that, for myself, and also for this one guy who was at my workplace this summer and who I actually blame for starting this problematic time in my life. Then I become angry for myself for letting that affect me so deeply and being this way that I am!!      Feeling so sad and lonely.
I don't know if this writing is in the right place but I just started to write, maybe it helps to let it out, for some people to read.  
Crying usually helps too though, I got a little calmed down now.

[reamary]

I just have to add something. It's also that this house is so noisy, and my parents do "fight" quite a bit. Not like really fight fight, but say crappy things and yell to each other. Which is also not a nice thing to be hearing all the time, when I already feel pretty bad. There's just so much noise and shouting in my family, also between my little brother (almost a teenager) and pretty much everyone else (though he's very sweet to me normally, when he sees me crying for example, he always tries to make me feel better by putting on some Céline or something like that ). Considering all this it might be better for me to stay at my own place, but then again, there are the noisy neighbours, a young guy and his friends who have parties like every damn weekend, so it's stressful there too. And I would feel even more lonely there.

[autumnskies00]

reamary, on Nov 22 2008, 04:14 AM, said:

I just have to add something. It's also that this house is so noisy, and my parents do "fight" quite a bit. Not like really fight fight, but say crappy things and yell to each other. Which is also not a nice thing to be hearing all the time, when I already feel pretty bad. There's just so much noise and shouting in my family, also between my little brother (almost a teenager) and pretty much everyone else (though he's very sweet to me normally, when he sees me crying for example, he always tries to make me feel better by putting on some Céline or something like that ). Considering all this it might be better for me to stay at my own place, but then again, there are the noisy neighbours, a young guy and his friends who have parties like every damn weekend, so it's stressful there too. And I would feel even more lonely there.

Gosh do I ever know how you feel. I'm back from college too, into my old house and I deffinitely feel that I'm in the way. I sort of don't feel like my family is my family anymore. They've all changed so much, and I just don't feel like I can relate to them anymore. I however, don't have the noisy problem. I can't say that I wish I did, but at the same time, the silence is killing me. My mom left almost a year ago, and my sister moved to her boyfriends. So right now, its just me and my dad who both pretty much stay in bed all day when we aren't at work because I think we're both depressed. Its just hard to keep going like this.

[mazceline]

Well you might have noticed i aint been around much on here, well i split from my husband (at last) and have been trying to sort out my life money, everything he left me with nothing, apart from my son, who is doing amazing now he has gone.
   well i have started councelling and have to say its amazing come to terms with my sexuallity  and believe im starting to be back on track and back on here whoop