Koolan Posted October 17, 2005 at 07:11 AM Posted October 17, 2005 at 07:11 AM Found this list on the net. Quite amusing Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. You don't have to learn to spell a new last name. You can leave the motel bed unmade. You can kill your own food. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Wedding plans take care of themselves. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. If you are 34 and single nobody notices. Everything on your face stays its original color. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me." Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.(WHAT????LOL..DD) Wedding dress -- $2000. Tuxedo rental -- 75 bucks. You don't mooch off other's desserts. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with, "So, notice anything different?" You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You almost never have strap problems in public, unless you play professional ball, and then for some reason it's okay. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You don't have to shave below your neck. Urinating while standing.At least a few belches are expected and tolerated. Your belly usually hides your big hips.One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes anyone got more to add? Quote Please support the forum by ordering through our Amazon.com referral link below. Click here to go to the Amazon homepage.
VanMerlin Posted October 17, 2005 at 02:13 PM Posted October 17, 2005 at 02:13 PM No PMS. But you have to put up with the woman...what's worse?No giving birth. You can walk anywhere you want, any time, day or night.All you have to do is cook one dinner and sweep the floor one night and you get laid!No one expects a man to be much more than a sex-crazed, emotionally stunted boy, so they get away with a lot! Trust me on this one. Seriously though, I think for everyone of those I read above, I can think of men who belie the statement. Maybe I just know some strange guys... Quote
AllCeline Posted October 18, 2005 at 05:04 PM Posted October 18, 2005 at 05:04 PM I'm a guy and proud of it!! Quote http://i34.tinypic.com/9ybm.jpghttp://i54.tinypic.com/o56kr5.jpghttp://i54.tinypic.com/vhqqu9.jpg>> flickr | WordPress <<Celine Dion needs another ANDHC/OH album!No more Taking Chances--just do what works!
Mozinha Posted October 18, 2005 at 08:13 PM Posted October 18, 2005 at 08:13 PM Women rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd like to see ya guys with a big fat pms Quote http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v487/welovecelinedion/howcute5gv2.jpghttp://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10501;104/st/20080413/e/my+graduation/dt/4/k/f5ff/event.png "And really - isn't NOT caring about what others think of you the hallmark of a cool person?"
Celine's Wife Posted October 18, 2005 at 11:06 PM Posted October 18, 2005 at 11:06 PM I'll stick to being a woman thank you very much OH and BTW..... I rarely have major PMS problems Quote Beautiful Sin - My Elizabeth Perkins Website! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v510/cathydion2/cdfsig.jpg We might kiss when we are alone... When nobody's watching... We might take it home... We might make out... When nobody's there... It's not that we're scared... It's just that it's delicate... We might live like never before... When there's nothing to give... Well how can we ask for more... We might make love in some sacred place... The look on your face is delicate
Clari Posted October 19, 2005 at 04:03 AM Posted October 19, 2005 at 04:03 AM I'd like to see ya guys with a big fat pms <{POST_SNAPBACK}> YES!! Quote http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v226/CelineSmiles/hamster.gif CLARiSSA Xxx... "Music touches every sense. It can move you to tears, bring joy to your heart, stir sexual passion, evoke memories, and prompt physical responses of all kinds." -Benoît Jutras
Koolan Posted October 19, 2005 at 06:43 AM Author Posted October 19, 2005 at 06:43 AM In all fairness to the gals out there : We get out of speeding tickets by making a trip to the back seat We get out of speeding tickets by crying We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg We can sleep our way to the top of the class We get to shop at Victoria's Secret We can marry rich and then not have to work Men hold the door open for us We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!) We're cuter We lie better We're better manipulators We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch We always have food in the fridge We don't worry about losing our hair We always get to choose the movie We dont have to mow the lawn We dont have to take out the garbage We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole PMS is a legal defense for murder We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals We never run out of excuses We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men screw up more often We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner Women are cleaner We're better arguers We dont always have to think with our genitals Massage!!!! We're better parents We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night We're flexible We can't have children after 50 Menstruation- just another excuse so we can say "no" We often get to cut in line Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return Women smell better Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats We don't get embarassed when buying tampons We have better fashion sense We're better shoppers We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you) An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men have no hope. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short Women do less time for violent crime Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye" Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood The remote control is not an extension of ourselves!! If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling No fashion faux pas we ever make could rival The Speedo! We can hug our friend without wondering if they think you're gay. We know the truth about whether size matters Quote Please support the forum by ordering through our Amazon.com referral link below. Click here to go to the Amazon homepage.
Clari Posted October 19, 2005 at 07:23 AM Posted October 19, 2005 at 07:23 AM We get out of speeding tickets by making a trip to the back seat We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg We can sleep our way to the top of the class Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT <{POST_SNAPBACK}> LOL Vic! Unfortunately those don't work for me. Quote http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v226/CelineSmiles/hamster.gif CLARiSSA Xxx... "Music touches every sense. It can move you to tears, bring joy to your heart, stir sexual passion, evoke memories, and prompt physical responses of all kinds." -Benoît Jutras
Krys Posted October 19, 2005 at 12:00 PM Posted October 19, 2005 at 12:00 PM We get out of speeding tickets by making a trip to the back seat We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg We can sleep our way to the top of the class Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT <{POST_SNAPBACK}> LOL Vic! Unfortunately those don't work for me. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> sometimes it backfires tho... Quote
Mozinha Posted October 19, 2005 at 08:01 PM Posted October 19, 2005 at 08:01 PM WOMEN ARE THE BEST!!!!!!! Quote http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v487/welovecelinedion/howcute5gv2.jpghttp://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10501;104/st/20080413/e/my+graduation/dt/4/k/f5ff/event.png "And really - isn't NOT caring about what others think of you the hallmark of a cool person?"
Celine's Wife Posted October 20, 2005 at 02:26 AM Posted October 20, 2005 at 02:26 AM I've TOTALLY worked my magic on a good portion of that list! And AMEN to crying to get outta a speeding ticket...... (pfft, I was only five miles over the limit ANYWAYS!) Quote Beautiful Sin - My Elizabeth Perkins Website! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v510/cathydion2/cdfsig.jpg We might kiss when we are alone... When nobody's watching... We might take it home... We might make out... When nobody's there... It's not that we're scared... It's just that it's delicate... We might live like never before... When there's nothing to give... Well how can we ask for more... We might make love in some sacred place... The look on your face is delicate
Krys Posted October 20, 2005 at 08:39 AM Posted October 20, 2005 at 08:39 AM I've TOTALLY worked my magic on a good portion of that list! And AMEN to crying to get outta a speeding ticket...... (pfft, I was only five miles over the limit ANYWAYS!)<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Quote
raluca Posted October 23, 2005 at 10:31 AM Posted October 23, 2005 at 10:31 AM WOMEN ARE THE BEST!!!!!!! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> o yes! Quote J'aimerais tant savoir Souffler comme le vent Sur ton doux visage Faire partir le noir, disparaître le temps Casser les nuages Parler même tout bas Juste pout toi et moi De petits riens Mais là-bas Au loin, tu nages... http://static.eventful.com/store/stickers/flash/assets/split/300x45_mid-black.gifhttp://static.eventful.com/store/stickers/flash/assets/split/300x30_bottom-black.gifView all Bucharest events at Eventful
CelineRox Posted October 23, 2005 at 04:46 PM Posted October 23, 2005 at 04:46 PM Quote http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm31/celinedion82/Emilylove-signature-1.jpg
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