Help! I need relationship advice

[minniemare5]

Okay, so you all being hardcore Celine fans that know all about Celine and Rene's relationship...I could really use some advice/support.

 

My manager who is 30 years older than me and married and I have just recognized that we have strong feelings for each other. I love him for a long time, but always thought it was an admiration kind of love...not romantic. We have been constantly flirting at work and the other day he told me that he thought he liked me too much and that he wanted to kiss me. I wrote him a letter in response to this explaining that I have similar feelings, but have never been able to acknowledge them because I thought they were impossible. I have been re-reading parts of "My Story, My Dream" and I can totally relate to Celine. Songs like, "Alone", "When the Wrong One Loves You Right", "Taking Chances", and "I Surrender" now have a new meaning for me. It's incredible to be able to find new meaning in this amazing songs.

 

I just don't know if I should pursue this relationship. I really love him and trust him, but I am worried we will both get hurt if it doesn't work out. I don't want to break apart his marriage (although he doesn't seem to care), and I am also concerned if he will lose him job if anyone else at work found out. We have agreed to be VERY careful, but still. I look at the pain Celine has described from when she could not tell anyone about her and Rene, and I wonder if I want to go through that as well. On the other hand, this could be the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I do not want to regret it for the rest of my life.

 

What are your thoughts? BTW I am 22 and he is 53.

[Jacqui]

I'm all for true love overcoming all kinds of obstacles- but if he's married, I think that's the probably the biggest issue here. (Note that Rene had been divorced for like, 3 years before he and Celine got together!)

I know you said he doesn't care about his marriage, but if he has no plans to leave his wife, what kind of future do you see with him??

And if he does plan to leave her, do you really want to be held responsible for that? Is there any chance his marriage could work out? Does he have children he should be thinking about? And like you said, there's a lot else at stake- his career, any friendship/professional relationship the two of you have, etc.

So any advice I might have would really depend on his intentions. Does he love you as much as you love him, or is he just looking for a fling and then he's gonna run back to his family and break your heart? It could be the love of your life, but it could also cause you a lot of grief, so I'd say if you do go for it, take it slowly, proceed with caution.

[Linn92]

WOW.. That's soo hard girl.

 

Love has no age, if u really feel something ok, then go for it girl. And then you have to realize that love is truly one of the most extraordinary things you can experience in your life.

 

To me, ur situation seems like an affair. Think twice before u "ruin" ur lovers marriage and maybe ur heart.

[no1celinefan]

I really know hardly anything about relationships, but I would at least wait until he at least files for divorce from her.. I would feel really guilty though, but it's all about you...

 

oh, and age, I wouldn't care, age is nothing but a number, if you like him, and he likes you, GO FOR IT

 

hope this helps...

[minniemare5]

Thanks for your advice. I do not think he has any plans to leave his wife unless things got really serious, but I do not want to be responsible for that. He says he has good intentions and he does not want me for just sex...but I think his actions speak otherwise because he wants me to make a decision right away, and when I asked him how he plans on having a relationship with me he says he has no plans. He'll just schedule us to close the store together as much as possible. I really do love him as a friend, and I do not want to hurt him, but I am also not going to be his fling on the side whenever it is convenient.

 

I did forget that Rene had been divorced 3 years before he and Celine got together.

[Jacqui]

Well it sounds like you're being wise about this, which is good. It sounds like you really care about him, but I don't see how he can say he has good intentions, if his intention is cheating on his wife.

Anyway, I know it sounds cliche, but don't let him rush you into anything. If he's the right guy for you, he'll take the time to do the right thing.

[CelineAndRene]

Don't go for it. You'd be ruining a marriage! Especially if he has kids.. your taking their father away. If he had kids with his wife they should suffer the consequences of being together forever. For the children's sake.

[Petra5]

I'd say don't do it. If he has no plans to leave his wife i don't think he thinks serious

[Bralo20]

I'd say don't do it. If he has no plans to leave his wife i don't think he thinks serious

 

Very wise words...

[VintageCeline]

I'd say don't do it. If he has no plans to leave his wife i don't think he thinks serious

 

I agree, I don't think it is fair to his wife, or yourself.

If things do get serious and he then doesn't want to brake his marriage apart, he has had it from you anyway - "had his cake and eaten it too" comes to mind.

 

I think the fact that he is married is the issue here, age really shouldn't matter. Maybe talk to him about his marriage but don't allow yourself to be used.

 

I hope everything works out

 

x

[minniemare5]

Well I talked to him about it today..about to completely break it off, and he told me thought it through last night and came up with a plan. I didn't get the details of the plan because we ran out of time to talk, but he said he would do anything for me, and the other day he told me if it got serious he would break it off with his wife. His problems with his wife started before me. Some other information that might be helpful is that his children are married and no longer life at home. He says the only reason he his still with his wife is because of his children and young grand children, but now he wants to put his own happiness first and give this a chance with me. So I have not completely broken things off. I really love him and I really do believe he loves me and doesn't just want to use to fill in whatever he isn't getting from his wife. I will definitely not sleep with him anytime soon, especially while he is still married.

[KimboCosmo]

I really was hesitant to respond to this, because I have been in "sort of" the same kind of situation. But honestly, I would SLOW DOWN. I know everything is so exciting when it is new, and very hard to control, but you need to be VERY careful. You could get hurt, he could get hurt, and end up with you two not even being friends at all. Not to mention both of your jobs are at risk here. He needs to first decide wheather or not he is going to stay with his wife. Just think how she would feel if she knew what was up. If he splits with her because of "other" problems between them, then go for it! And the age thing isn't a big deal...if it really is TRUE love. Good luck!

[aivee]

Don't go for it. You'd be ruining a marriage! Especially if he has kids.. your taking their father away. If he had kids with his wife they should suffer the consequences of being together forever. For the children's sake.

 

 

I totally agree with you CelineDionFREEEK....dont do it even you feel you love him..but how about his children?if any he have..they will have a broken family which is tragic to them..but you guys were really meant for each other you really are..dont rush things in those decisions..i mean i dont even got into relationships but i love to advice people,im good at it,specially in my friends..

 

even they said that love has no age or whatever but just for his children's sake girl,

[Terre]

The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that your manager might be just looking for comfort if he has problems in his marriage. I don't think it's a good idea to start a relationship with him unless he and his wife get divorced. If I were you I'd wait and see what he is gonna do. If he really cares about you and wants to have a serious relationship with you he won't pressure you to do anything. Good luck!

[tres.aligator]

Have you been in love and think you know them and it turns out you dont now them only the dark side of thing. As i have been there i always follow my feelings. And love will find away in if there is love there, but people live and learn i stayed friends with my X. But for me it was the right thing to do as being married for 8 years most of it was a sham to say. The love was not the same as boyfriend and girlfriend it was my first love at 16 then we married his family got in the way big time i lost someone very close to me and he did not understand and just did not know how to treat me and things go heated and as been an up hill living hell over the past 2 years over now and we stayed friends. And there is a guy i like to that is older then me but dont know if he feels the way i do.

 

All the best in what ever you do. XX