What would it take to hate someone you love?

[zoe marie]

There are few things in life really annoy me, one of them is people who don't say what they truly think!

My dad has always been the one person I aspire to make proud, but today I don't think I can bare to be his daughter anymore!

I may love him dearly, but at the same time, I dislike him for what he has done! You see I am the type of person who would give my soul to the devil to ensure the people I love are never harmed, the one that would be there if I possibly could at the drop of a hat anytime or anywhere and the one who would move heaven and earth to make you smile for just one second!

 

On my son's birthday last year my dad became angry about something my mum had agreed to with regard to my 15 year old sister staying out late while staying at my house. He verbally abused me for ten minutes while stood at my front door!

This year he hasn't even said anything other than hello for nearly three weeks, as I asked my elder sister to tell him that I was Bi-sexual and since then nothing much! My mum says he's fine with me being who I am, but right now I don't believe her as my dad always called round to my house or rang to make sure I was ok on my birthday and it's now the day after and I still haven't heard from him depite texting him twice yesterday!

 

I guess what I am trying to ask is: Is my dad worth the hassle anymore?

[KimboCosmo]

That is a very tough one!

 

I have kind of the same problems with my Dad...not that he knows anything about me, but the fact that he is a very big verbal abuser and deep down wants the best for everyone possible. He stresses out over the smallest details and takes his frustrations out on everyone around him. I love him dearly, because he is my Dad, but I like to call it a "love-hate" relationship. I love him because he is my Dad, but yet I hate him for the way he has raised us, and the way he handles things. Which I do understand it is a generational thing, his parents were the same way, and 10 times worse.

 

I hope things work out for the better for you...maybe he just needs some time to gather his thoughts, and hey, if he never does, it isn't something you should worry yourself with. You still have your Mom, right?

[zoe marie]

Thankyou for your comment. Yes I do have my mum and she seems to be great with it all but she has no clue what my dad really thinks as she's based in Spain with my little sister while my dad works in England for six/eight weeks then goes to Spain for two weeks. So essentially he could say anything to my mum and she wouldn't know whether he was telling the truth or not with regard to his feelings!!!

[Jacqui]

I'm sorry for what you're going through *hugs.* I can definitely relate. I've never felt that my Dad accepts or understands me, even if deep down I know we love each other. We just never see things the same way. And sometimes, like your Dad, he takes it too far, says things he shouldn't, or maybe even does things he shouldn't. I guess, hard as it is, you just have to learn not to care what he thinks. It doesn't mean you don't love him, maybe not even that you hate him- I find it's very hard to hate someone you love, it's usually just a lot of anger in the end (in my experience, anyway.) So I guess my thoughts would be, don't bother with what he thinks about you. But as for having a relationship with him, I wouldn't give up on that yet. People leave our lives one way or another, sooner or later, anyway. Life's too short to hate people, and your family will always be your family...

[takeachance]

Ya thats a tricky one, but my advice would be your parents wont be around forever and try to think how you would feel if he was not around anymore to hate. my dad died years ago and if i had a choice id prob have him around even if he bugged me.... you know what im saying.