Best Friend Problems...

[AllCeline]

I don't wanna turn this forum into some kind on online soap opera or something but I was just curious to get some of your views and comments on this issue. I've known my best friend since the sixth grade (it's been about six years now) and we always seemed to get along fairly well. We'd have arguments about little things and then get over it five minutes later. Funny insults never seemed to bother us (like calling the other "stupid" or a complete "douche-bag").

 

Anyway, I'm a year older and it seems as if we're kinda drifting aprart. I've noticed that some of the things that never bothered me before tend to bother me now. I've also come to realize that this friend of so many years can be a total narcissist, concieted, and even shallow. I don't know why these things never bothered me before... I'm not even sure if he was like this before. His personality just seems to annoy the hell out of me. He seemed to be totally cool before... we could talk about anything (usual teen suff: girls, music, movies, etc). But now, he just HAS to get the last word in ALL THE TIME. On top of it, he believe's he's always right. Don't even try getting into a debate; he's just always right, period.

 

Just seems as if we've drifted so far apart since elementary school. It frustrates me that a friend I've know for so long is suddently this new person. I guess it's a given that I've changed as well and maybe the distance has played a part? I don't know...

 

Thoughts?

Edited July 13, 2008 at 11:20 PM by AllCeline

[Cheerfuljane]

It`s the natural process with friends I`m afraid.

 

You`ve just gotta do your own thing and let it play itself out.

 

You`ve both changed. Time to move on

[CellyDee87]

Yes I think Jane is right it happens as you grow older unfortunately

[aicee]

consider it as some part of Maturity maybe.

[VintageCeline]

That has kinda of happened to me and my best friend, we have been friends since I was 12, (now 19) and we still get along really well, but we used to be "joined at the hip" but now we speak to each other on the phone once a week maybe, and see each other when everyone goes out for drinks - but she rarely joins us.

 

I've put it down to the fact that we've grown apart, I do different things to her - she works quite a bit.

 

I wouldn't beat yourself up over it, Its just what happeneds. If you really don't want to lose this friend, then talk to him about it - If not then just let it be.

 

x

[celinerific]

Omgsh! I'm going through the exact same thing with my best friend!

It's like you spoke my words for me.

[C.D._LoVer]

I have had this thing happening all through out high school now. It started in 6th grade, my best friend and I after knowing each other since kindergarten just started drifting apart. It was right after my dad passed away and my whole world started changing, hormones everything... so both of us just seem to not click anymore. Before we were totally close and I could tell her every thing, I loved her like a sister. But that year after dad, she changed. I changed. Our likes and views didn't match anymore and she became all cocky and boy crazy. And I thought that I was still the same just a little more depressed.

 

I guess the whole point of me telling you this is that people change mature and grow up some. Jess and I didn't get along for the last two years but now we can finally talk normal to each other again. Friends come and go. So just ride it out. But if it is really becoming an issue for you and you have been great friends for the last 6 years then maybe tell him straight up whats going on. Or just take a break from him for a while and hang with some other friends until her comes around again.

 

Hope this helped you some!! I hope everything turns out okay.

[neilg]

It is really sad when that happens.

 

I think it's happened to everyone at some point in their life. But because you were friends from such a young age, you're going to develop into two different people, with different interests, different personalities, and different opinions.

 

The same thing happened with me and my best friend, but I struck up a friendship with someone else in Sixth Form, and we've been pretty much inseparable since.

 

I won't say that you'll find a replacement, but I don't think that it will be long before you start to call someone else your best friend.

[Jacqui]

Unfortunately, what the others said is so true. Some friendships are meant to last a lifetime, some for a few good years, and others stick around but you lose the closeness you once had. It's sad, I know. But people change. You can try to hold on to it, or let it go...but you can't change another person, and you shouldn't change yourself for them. If that changes the relationship, maybe it's meant to be that way. That said, you could be best friends again in 20 years, you never know....

[Krys]

Anyway, I'm a year older and it seems as if we're kinda drifting aprart. I've noticed that some of the things that never bothered me before tend to bother me now. I've also come to realize that this friend of so many years can be a total narcissist, concieted, and even shallow. I don't know why these things never bothered me before... I'm not even sure if he was like this before. His personality just seems to annoy the hell out of me. He seemed to be totally cool before... we could talk about anything (usual teen suff: girls, music, movies, etc). But now, he just HAS to get the last word in ALL THE TIME. On top of it, he believe's he's always right. Don't even try getting into a debate; he's just always right, period.

 

it happens. i've had my share of things over the past few years lol. its true that things never bothered you at first will begin to bother you later on. and i understand what you just said Joel bout the totally cool before and that now he seems to be a pain in the arse. i guess thats what they meant bout "some things are just not meant to be"

 

Just seems as if we've drifted so far apart since elementary school. It frustrates me that a friend I've know for so long is suddently this new person. I guess it's a given that I've changed as well and maybe the distance has played a part? I don't know...

 

sometimes your priorities change. your friend changes as well. it is frustrating when "you thought you knew a person and then again you dont". its just weird lol

[angeluk2]

This happened to me too! I had been best friends with a girl from when we were 5 till about 15,we did everything together,talked about everything,etc,then we started drifting apart.I must admit it was more my part as i felt she wasnt as mature as i was at the time.I let this really good friendship we had slip away.

Now whoevers fault it maybe if you were once really close friends,shared everything,talked all the time,etc,then pluck up the courage and have a go at talking to them about the situation.I know some people have said that growing up and seperating just happens,which is true,it doesnt mean you cant give it your best shot at keeping them as friend.I have regreted not talking to my then best friend for years.I dont know where she went when we all left school and i still think about her often and wonder how her life is.

Im not trying to tell you what you should do,or say anyone else is wrong,i just want to give you my opinion based on what happened to me

[summer elizabeth]

OMG i totally understand - Thats one of the things am most scared of is losing my best m8! We are very close and i can talk to her about anythink . Am so scared that because am moving away to uni we will drift appart because i once had a BEST friend for 6 years she lived around the corner and she moved and i never seen her and well the phone calls just got less and we havent spoken for neally a year. and i have just left college and had a fallout with most of my friends there and now i have left i had to leave thoughs friendshipd to. BUT THATS LIFE AND THOSE THINGS UNFORTUNATLY HAPPEN BUT NW FRIENDS ARE ALWAYS MADE there is always a possitive from a negative (when a door closes a window opens)

[AllCeline]

Thanks a ton for the replies everyone. I knew stuff like this happens, but it's nice to have some reinforcement when you're actually going through it. Like some of you have said, I feel as if I've matured a bit more as well. Our priorities have definitely changed and I've realized that I've slowly grown closer to friends who are closer to me in actual distance.

 

Like you all said: it's all a part of life and growing up. I know I'll get past it, but like I siad--the reinforcement's nice.

[celinerific]

This topic is helping me a lot too... Holey moley. I've been trying to patch up my relationship with my current best friend... I don't know how it's working out, but somehow it just doesn't feel qutie "right"... And I don't want to confess anything to her... *sigh* I don't know what to do... There's a whole back story that I don't really feel like talking about... but all I can say is I'm just in a really confused place and when I think about it, it begins to drive me up the wall.

[Alex_Incognito]

Friends drift. A surprise from high school is that your current friends won't be your friends forever. It happens, but things change. You'll see.

[A New Day Has Come]

I've had problems with my friends and my best friends I think most friendships even best friends drift apart at some point in your life and I think you just have to move on with life and forget about him. I think its for the best. I've had fights with my best friend but we made up and forgave each other and it was all good.

[I Surrender]

When you grow older your needs change. Sometimes people around who were important to you for a certain period of time also change and

you drift apart. I have experienced this as well growing up. It hurts yes but you'll see that other friendships will come along. People that

are on the same level as you are now. As an adult friendships can be developped for life.

From my own experience I can say that the friendships I had when I was younger helped me grow as a person and brought me where I am today. Its part of life. Go with your heart and you can never go wrong, is the advice I once got and its oh so true.