Love, Let's Talk About It

[scorp82]

The discomfort I am feeling just writing in this topic should alone be an indication of how I feel discussing such matters...

 

Just kidding... Sort of...

 

The funny thing is, I've always had this image of myself being emotionally open and comfortable with my feelings but the fact is, that's just not true. For somebody whose music collection is filled with love songs, I haven't told anybody I love them for as long as I can remember and I always feel uneasy even when friends or relatives express affection towards me. I guess being sensitive and caring is not the same as being emotionally open. I am very sensitive and grow attached to virtual strangers (I'm a big softy really!), but I can never say what I feel.

 

I know it should not be taken for granted because we can never predict what tomorrow has in store for us or our loved ones, but I genuinely believe that the people around me know how I feel. The relationships I form are always lasting ones and even if, as friends, we do not repeatedly tell each other how we feel, we show we care just by being there. In many ways, my friends are similar to me in that they rarely utter the word 'love'. But we express our affection in small gestures that go completely unnoticed by strangers. Having said that, I do wish I was able to vocalise my feelings more often. But I have always been uncomfortable being told I am loved and even throwaway compliments make me feel nervous! Whilst my father is a very closed, stoical character, my mother wears her heart on her sleeve and is a very emotional person. However, she is somebody who is not used to feeling appreciated and so whilst she gives her love freely, she finds it difficult to be loved! Perhaps these contradictions partly explain my inability to express love verbally.

 

I am, of course, talking about love between friends and family. As for romantic love, I know very little. I do tend to get attached and I would like to think that I would be a very loving and open partner. I'd hate to give people the impression that I'm made of stone or ice because I'm not. I'd like to think I'm very amiable and I do feel affection, I just don't say it out loud. I love the line from the song Lettre de George Sand a Alfred de Musset:

 

Ton âme est faite pour aimer ardemment,

ou pour se dessécher tout à fait.

...

et dire comme moi, j'ai souffert souvent,

je me suis trompé quelquefois

mais j'ai aimé.

 

Now, that might just be the sentimental side of me showing through, but I hope that I can say those words one day and that my soul doesn't completely dry up!

 

 

Tony, that was a great post!

 

You always express yourself so well! Thanks for sharing!

[scorp82]

Love is the most important thing in my life, and I hope it always will be. For someone I really love, I would do anything.

There are so many different ways to love, and the journey of relationships are often surprising, but they make life worth living.

There are the obvious ones, like the way you love a parent, a sibling, a child, a friend, or a lover, and ones I find people don't understand, like the way I love my pets as if they are family, and how I love Celine (well, you guys understand that, but most people don't!) I remember Celine once saying that love is pain, and unfortunately I think that's also true. When you care that deeply about someone it gives them the power to really hurt you. When you see them suffer, it's the worst feeling. Trust has always been a difficult thing for me, which is why I tend to be a bit 'all or nothing' with people. I tell my family I love them every single day, but others, I find it very hard to say it to...I guess it's that fear of getting too close to somebody, or having them not say it back. So many times I've wanted to give up and hate the whole world, but love always seems to win, because I never can.

 

I have a lot of love in my life already, but I truly hope that I will have the kind of relationships my parents have, and that my Grandparents had- a marriage that will last through good and bad times. Something a Church group leader said to me recently really stood out- she said "you won't always love your husband." What she meant is that in any relationship, there are always ups and downs, you just have to accept that there are days you will want to hit them over the head, and days you want to leave, but you don't. Because even if you don't love the person in that moment, you know that deep down, you really do. You have faith that the bad times will pass and you'll feel the love again soon.

 

 

You know, I also have a difficult time with trust. In the past, I have had the tendency to really open myself emotionally. When I let someone into my life, I'm very open and honest. However, it seems that people are not as honest or trustworthy. So, I have really been disappointed and hurt before. For those reasons, sometimes I do have a tough time trusting people, especially in a romantic sense.

 

I do agree with you in that love can also be painful. When a person falls in love, he or she becomes more vulnerable to being hurt. Unfortunately, sometimes the people who love us have the power to hurt us the most.

[Linn92]

I find it hard to say LOVE Like I love you mom, dad... My friends says it all the time to there parents. I even find it hard to use the word to my bf. (was my bf) I guess I was too scared how he would react. I don't like that feelin'

 

I've talked to a very nice girl through the internet. We've been talking very much and I getting to like (as a friend) very much And lately she's been saying I LOVE YOU.. I was not feeling comf. at all in the beginning.. But now I'm used to it I've been replying back with I LOVE YOU TOO ! Now I begin to say I LOVE YOU to my best friend

 

I wonder.. Mom sometimes say I LOVE YOU, but I just turn around and go.. I'm not going becoz I don't LOVE her, but i feel it weird. I don't know why A good reason could be all the fights (every day). It's like u just want to movie some place far away from there.

 

So I say it now:

 

Mommy I LOVE YOU

Dad I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU SIS

I LOVE YOU FAMBO

I LOVE YOU CELINE DION

I LOVE MY COUNTRY

 

Goodbyes The Saddest Word