What would it feel when you say (I hate you)

[artist]

Being gay is not the best gifts u may receive... and unfortunately... i am this way.

 

The worst thing is when u fall in love with a straight guy. here is a little summary about my story:

 

i met him 3 years ago.. or so... he was from europe (dont wanna mention his nationality)... i knew that it wont work.. so i prefered at lease to be pals...

 

no matter what i did i always felt that he was running away from me.... he went back to his hometown....

 

we kept talking for a while... then i forgot about him... and thank God I did....

 

few months ago... he told em that he was coming back... VERY NICE...

 

 

i was happy that i've been away for a while... cuz still.... we are not close friends till then...

 

in a way or another, he knew about my feelings

 

 

now he told me.... i care for u.. but we cant meet anymore.... i am sorry

 

i really feel so borken hearted... and more angry with myself cuz i didnt ask for those feelings...

 

i begged a lot that he came back... or at least let me goodbye him before he travels to his hometown....yet, no answer...

 

I became so angry.. all the love I had turned into hatred.... my last sms was: I HATE U... MORE THAN ANY CREATURE ON THIS EARTH... U IGNORED ME SINCE I EVER KNEW U... AND I NEVER MEANT ANYTHING TO U... Y DID U TELL ME THAT U R BACK? I WISH U WOULD GO TO HELL

 

He never expected to hear those words from me.... and i never know how i said them.... that was so unfair... i hate this whole situation.. i've been trying for 3 years to build a normal friendship with him... and now... after i waited him all this long era, he just came back to say "Adieu"....

 

I am sorry for opening this thread.. but i feel so bad and no one is feeling my pain... everyone says that it is easy to overcome a separation... but i can't... i am angry with myself....

[LuisMa]

I don't think you should feel angry with yourself because it's not your fault that your heart was touched by that person. Then, it's pretty normal that you say some words that you might later regret. I have said so many words that I wish I had never said. And don't feel sorry for yourself for not asking for those feelings. The feeling called love is amazing, a¡nd it comes when you least expect it and yes, being heartbroken is terrible, but you will get back on track and find love again and this situation will make you stronger.

[artist]

i know.. but not him... he meant the world to me

[neilg]

It's not very nice to have these feelings when someone you love so much hurts you - it's like they're the one person in the world who you think will never hurt you, and when they do - even unwillingly - it's the most painful thing.

 

There is someone I love, and they don't know. We're great friends, and as a friend, they tell me personal things, but things I don't necessarily want to hear them say! They tell me about someone they got with on a night out. I don't want to hear, because I want to be that person that they got with! But as a friend, I have to listen and say, 'Great! Well done! Good for you!', but it's so hard for me because they don't know how I really feel.

 

Sometimes I just want to tell them that without knowing, they're killing me, because I haven't been in a relationship for over 5 years, and this is the one person I love more than anything, but I know nothing can ever happen.

 

So I can see why you feel that way, but I'm fortunate in that this person doesn't know, and I think it's better that way, no matter how much it hurts me

[Davey84]

been there done that.... in the end..... I guess all was worth it... but in the end you'll be more wise... now it hurts more then ever... but you will get over it, trust me all you need is time...and eventually you'll be stronger

[Black Kitten]

being the first female to reply here, i really don't know what to say. being in love is one of the best and worst at the same time. wish u well...

[artist]

I am so afraid of getting weak and knock on his house door again....

 

I miss him... he had an influence on every project i created the alst 3 years...

Edited February 22, 2008 at 06:56 PM by artist

[bfhb]

you can get over this and you will.....just one day at a time

you obviously feel a lot for this guy and that is lovely but its lonely and frustrating.i understand that ...we cannot pick who we choose to love sometimes, but we do have control over the choices we make and you have to start thinking of you now and what is best for you.....

you need to prioritise ur time in a positive way doing what makes u happy.....you need to forget this guy and focus on whats good for you ..

i wish u well man

take care

dj

[Jacqui]

Aww *hugs* I'm sorry. I know how it feels when love goes wrong and you end up with hate, biterness, and resentment. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out what to do about it, except eventually in time we move on.

[Jeffieboi]

Well luckily for me, I find it a turn off when guys are straight, so I really don't have that particular issue...but there was this one person I was in love with, who was my best friend. We messed around and stuff, but never dated so I kinda know what you're going through.

 

Here's my words of encouragement. The guy I was in love with moved away, and it tore me up inside. I wouldn't leave my condo for days...but let me tell you...it gets easier. It gets A LOT easier. It could take a week, a month, a year even...but the pain goes away. What I would suggest is that you meet somebody new...and gay, lol. I know it's hard to pick who you have feelings for, but yeah, just try to find someone new. That makes the healing process easier...even if it is a rebound.

 

I remember back when I was 16, this one guy I was talking to online admited he was looking for a rebound, and we lived about 20 minutes apart. So we met, and actually started dating despute the fact that he was merely on the rebound, and he told me he was falling in love with me.

 

The point of that story is, just go for the rebound, and you might get over him and fall in love with someone else.

 

Consequently I would like to add that I ended up sleeping with the guy he was trying to get over, lol...but that was after we broke up.

[CelineAndRene]

you can get over this and you will.....just one day at a time

you obviously feel a lot for this guy and that is lovely but its lonely and frustrating.i understand that ...we cannot pick who we choose to love sometimes, but we do have control over the choices we make and you have to start thinking of you now and what is best for you.....

you need to prioritise ur time in a positive way doing what makes u happy.....you need to forget this guy and focus on whats good for you ..

i wish u well man

take care

dj

 

 

Yes, that's ALL it takes!

 

One Day @ a time... i think "A New Day Has Come" is the appropriate song for u

[scorp82]

Well luckily for me, I find it a turn off when guys are straight, so I really don't have that particular issue...but there was this one person I was in love with, who was my best friend. We messed around and stuff, but never dated so I kinda know what you're going through.

 

Here's my words of encouragement. The guy I was in love with moved away, and it tore me up inside. I wouldn't leave my condo for days...but let me tell you...it gets easier. It gets A LOT easier. It could take a week, a month, a year even...but the pain goes away. What I would suggest is that you meet somebody new...and gay, lol. I know it's hard to pick who you have feelings for, but yeah, just try to find someone new. That makes the healing process easier...even if it is a rebound.

 

I remember back when I was 16, this one guy I was talking to online admited he was looking for a rebound, and we lived about 20 minutes apart. So we met, and actually started dating despute the fact that he was merely on the rebound, and he told me he was falling in love with me.

 

The point of that story is, just go for the rebound, and you might get over him and fall in love with someone else.

 

Consequently I would like to add that I ended up sleeping with the guy he was trying to get over, lol...but that was after we broke up.

 

 

I am sorry, but I don't think that looking for a rebound is the best advice to give. Right now, he needs time to get over this painful and bittersweet experience. Rebounds are not a good idea. Either he will end up even more hurt or the other individual will be hurt. Before dating or seeing someone new, both people need to be able to be available emotionally and not carry baggage from previous relationships. When two people decide to pursue a relationship, both people need to get to know each other... If one person is thinking about someone else, then disaster is inevitable because in their mind and heart, they are focused on someone else.

 

 

Artist, I am very sorry to hear you are feeling pain. Love can be wonderful and bittersweet at the same time. It can bring magnificent feelings, but it can also bring pain and deceit. I am not an expert in this matter, but I can tell you that though is very difficult, time will heal all wounds. Give yourself time to think about yourself and your feelings. As time goes on, you will see everything will be better. I know it is better said than done, but soon, you will feel much better.

 

Remember... Right now you need to devote time to yourself. Do not think about seeing or dating someone new until you have completely gotten over your current feelings and situation. It will be for your own good in the long run.