APRIL FOOLS- Celine Dion, Radiohead:

April 3, 2005 at 05:59 PM

APRIL FOOLS- Celine Dion, Radiohead: their careers will go on
By ADAM RAUF
Notes From the Underground
April 01, 2005

Let's Talk About the Thief
Celine Dion / Radiohead
Independently Released
RIYL: Radiohead, Celine Dion, not Radiohead

out of

Hip-hop artists aren't the only ones to capitalize on remake ideas. In the past year, we have seen Jay-Z coupled with Linkin Park and Ludacris with Sum 41. Jay-Z's Black Album has also been remixed with Weezer (to form the Black & Blue Album), Metallica (Double Black album), and The Beatles (the infamous Grey Album by DJ Dangermouse). But we never could have anticipated what was coming from the pop world.

Critically acclaimed Canadian pop songstress Celine Dion has decided to take Radiohead's music and place her voice on top of the tracks. She took the tracks from her album Let's Talk About Love (featuring the awesomely bad Titanic theme song "My Heart Will Go On") and combined it with Radiohead's latest LP, Hail to the Thief, to create the oh-so-cleverly titled Let's Talk About the Thief.

She's redone and "mashed up" (as MTV likes to call it) songs to form killer cuts (and titles) such as: "Miles to Go (Before I Go to Sleep)," "When I Need You and You Begin," "Why Oh Why Do We Suck Young Blood," and "The Reason That a Wolf is at The Door."

But nothing can prepare you for the blowout extravaganza of Radiohead's first single from the album combined with the Celine Dion sobfest. That combination mutated into a track simply called "There There, My Heart Will Go On." The song is about unrequited love that is very strong.

While Thom Yorke's vocals are pushed way into the back of the mix, you can hear Celine's incredibly awesome pipes belting all over the intricate structures and melodies of Radiohead. Any time there is a break in the songs itself, Celine manages to pick up the slack and add words where there weren't words before.

The best example is on the album's title cut (so to speak), "Let's Talk About a Punch-up at a Wedding." The intro has electronic drums and piano until about 30 seconds in. Thom then begins with his "Nononononono's" until the first full minute has passed. Celine found this to be way too boring, so she enlisted the help of Mariah Carey to fill in gaps where she could not place adequate lyrics.

This works extremely well, as Mariah stomps all over the instrumental sections of the song.

Other artists who joined Celine on this record include Michael Jackson (on "Why Oh Why Do We Suck Young Blood"), Barbara Streisand (where they do a duet to the Streisand tune "Sail to the Evergreen Moon"), and Gary Busey. Busey was unfortunately unable to sing any parts, so instead of lyrics, you get many pictures of his face from different movies in the liner notes. One of them states "Stay in school, or you might get Myxamatosis."

The only thing that makes this album suffer is a severe lack of material. This should've been a double disc, even though it pushes 80 minutes as is. Oh, the things we could've had! We were anticipating the sound of Celine's French over the critically acclaimed OK Computer to create the record French Love for an OK Computer. We could've had incredible songs such as "My Friend Left Me (For a Paranoid Android)," "Don't Feel Sorry for me (I'm Climbing Up the Walls)," and my personal favorite, "No Surprises at Seventeen."

So there you have it; this is a star-studded lineup of the best artists in the known world collaborating with the best band in the whole world. Radiohead vocalist Yorke replied with "Bollocks!" after hearing the album, and decided not to give full authority to this CD release.

So instead of Celine making mad dough for her Sony label, she has decided to give away the album on the Internet for free. Bollocks indeed. You can snag it at http://mash.to/omgplz/ltattbbqparty/ Get it while it's hot, and watch out for those nasty pop-up banners!