The Helmut press about Céline

[Céline's Blues]

I translated a new article about Céline from Germany's today's newspaper Süddeutsche Zeitung. Rather typical German-cynical but still they like her, yes, yes. Don't be fooled by the cynical mood of the article.

 

 

The woman with kablooey

 

Céline Dion moves out of Las Vegas after 5 years - and prepares world tour. A last October visit in “Caesar’s Palace”

 

You sit together with other journalists from Deutschland in a suite on the top of Caesar’s in Las Vegas. 18 rooms (kitchen, pools, bath tubs and similar ish not counted). 35 000 dollars a night for normally challenged. The decorations looks like a furniture sex fantasy world of Nicolae Caucescu. The Rao’s food is steaming from silver sarcophagus: chicken in citrus fruits, crabs on tomatoes. Very, very tasty. In front of the table – what a joy, because who would have thought this appointment to be real – the songbird of Quebec: Céline Dion. Take good care, the colleagues told me back at home. As if you would go to Iraq.

 

When God finished the absolutely unbelievable vocal chords of Céline Dion, he was out of breath. These vocal chords were without any doubt his very masterpiece. Louder than a trumpet. Five octaves in five seconds. God was absolutely exhausted hanging around without any halt. When he was supposed to create Céline, he was all over the picture. The outcome was something as charming as Jim Henson and Frank Oz: a somewhat bird-like muppet of a cubistic beauty, gracile, adorable and most of all – vertical. Everything is high, the high forehead, the long hair, the long fingers, the long legs, the high cheeks. As soon as she stands up, one wants almost also to stand up and guide her to not let her get stuck. Most of all however and over again: one watches her nose bridge, when have one ever seen one of such length, infiniteness and linear straightness. This is hell of a touching nose bridge.

 

Céline Dion in Missoni sits at a mahagoni table, with glass of water, she with smokey eyes, in the depth monstrously fulminating pupils in the direction of the camera with which she headlamps the environment. You truly don’t want to get in any trouble with her. Back then when the floods in New Orleans happened, she sat here also with these pupils and shot with them into the direction of the camera, she was guest in Larry King. 20 minutes before her show she cried like a Disne’ys Snow White via TV into the nation, she couldn’t believe that since days many Americans sit and wait on their roof tops and the military isn’t able to help them while in some other countries the soldiers have other things to do. There are political analysts in the USA, they say that this appearance hit Bush more than Monica Lewinsky’s affair hit Clinton. “Me? Political? Mon Dieu: No! I thought only: We kill people in the course of 2 seconds, why couldn’t we get those people off their roof tops in two days?” She says that even louder now, she answers to other singing! Singing answers in an interview! Like the suite where she sits, she’s too much. She knows that very well and laughs about all the ish surrounding her and the ish that she is serving.

 

Here a couple of amazing numbers: She has in following weeks the last shows in Las Vegas to perform and she will embark in a world tour in February – 25 countries, 100 cities. She has been singing for five years at Caesar’s, en suite five nights, in front of 3 million people cumulatively. There was not even one single night that was not sold out. These are new dimensions - even for Las Vegas – where shows have been more and more canceled because of tumbling ticket sales. Shows of people that couldn’T sing as good as Céline Dion – who can – but whose reputation was untouchable. They wanted her to go on in Las Vegas but she’s over it: “I have to prove myself that I will sing throughout such a long path, that I am a long-term-girl and no hit-girl, this much I have proven. Now it’s bon.”

 

The big picture: When you assume that the untouchable Barbra Streisand is overrated, you would put Céline Dion very quickly into the dun crow of secretaries category and would then say she’s a little underrated. This has not been a bad point for her because she sold more than 200 million records and earned between the summer of 2006 and the summer of 2007 about 45 million dollars. And there’s not much you can say against secretaries that like to listen to someday who can sing.

 

But she is not cult but rather more like a Titanic-ariea or Discofox-consensus of all the heterosexual women that bring their cowboys to Ceasar’s Palace and tow them around crying and caressing them while the show itself weirdly enough couldn’t be gayer.

 

Cirque-du-soleil-founder Franco Dragone took care of the angels, harlequins, flying pianos all drenched into a postnuclear appearing scenery of underground cities, sinking ships – and to all that comes Céline and warbles to an extent that it leaves you stunned. The ones that find it kitschy, wonder surely also why the sun is going down at night.

 

An evening with Céline Dion was the night when the “hit girl” Britney Spears had her monstrous fall out performance at the MTV Music Awards – an incident about which Ms. Dion remains rather silent, haha, she is not dumb after all). She herself glides through her show as smoothly as a Mercedes-Combi on a French road.

 

Do not make mistakes, guys

 

For her world tour Dion (39 y.o.) constructed an album with stadium rock – a record that should not scare away her fans but will definitely surprise them. “Taking Chances” will be released on the 9^th of November and aims at a wide range of kablooey with three brat guitars instead of violins. That “The Woman In Me” is one of the most beautiful songs sung by a female voice, is believed not only by her tour director Marek Lieberberg. A such raw rythym and blues number happens to Céline’s mastery not often and we will see whether she will want to let this song thrust from the concert loudspeakers instead of pomp & gloria.

 

In June and July 2008 she’ll be performing In Germany. The ticket presale begins in early November. The concerts will be soon sold out. The rest of the nation will be rolling their eyes and believe to have something better to do on the evenings of the concerts. It is possible that this rest is making a mistake on that one.

 

_______________________________________________

 

 

 

Other Helmut news:

 

“This Time” will be about a woman that quits a relationship with a beating husband

 

“Can’t Fight The Feeling” full rock.

 

The tour will be like a scent with “different musical flavors” according to Céline.

[stevo]

i like it

[Julian]

Do you have the german text for me?

[Céline's Blues]

1,60 €, Julian! In every kiosk near you! Still have 3 hours to go out and buy. :kisss: :kisss:

[ByuSmurf]

That was a GREAT story! Yeah... "the rest" WILL be MISTAKEN!!!

[Julian]

1,60 €, Julian! In every kiosk near you! Still have 3 hours to go out and buy. :kisss: :kisss:

Oh, nice! I will try to get one copy...

So far, thanks for the translattion

[sailornic]

Thank You for the translation

[one heart]

thanks !!!

[speedy]

Wooow...thanx for this great review

[manilou]

I hope I will still get one tomorrow.

 

Tomorrow I go to the train station in my city and

[Xpresso]

Thanks for that great article and translation. Interesting read!

[Cambroneroj]

I bet she looks great wearing Missoni, loved the article!

[julien]

Thanks seb. A nice sarcastic article.

[Javier_Natalio]

"There are political analysts in the USA, they say that this appearance hit Bush more than Monica Lewinsky’s affair hit Clinton."

 

"The concerts will be soon sold out. The rest of the nation will be rolling their eyes and believe to have something better to do on the evenings of the concerts. It is possible that this rest is making a mistake on that one."

 

I loved the article, they're unmistakenly praising Céline.

[lauracd]

Thanks for the translation!!!

[Céline's Blues]

On the screen caps our VinnyT made for us from the TV show "Brisant" you see clearly her pupils described in THIS article so explicitly.

[Javier_Natalio]

On the screen caps our VinnyT made for us from the TV show "Brisant" you see clearly her pupils described in THIS article so explicitly.

 

Meaning she has a crazy look in her eyes? or that she's on drugs?

[Céline's Blues]

On the screen caps our VinnyT made for us from the TV show "Brisant" you see clearly her pupils described in THIS article so explicitly.

 

Meaning she has a crazy look in her eyes? or that she's on drugs?

 

No, no, they just meants htey're so big and very awake....on a second thought it could mean that but noooo.

[Thecolourofmylove]

Thanks for the translation. I wish we had more like it in America.

[Filine]

I like the article

[Javier_Natalio]

On the screen caps our VinnyT made for us from the TV show "Brisant" you see clearly her pupils described in THIS article so explicitly.

 

Meaning she has a crazy look in her eyes? or that she's on drugs?

 

No, no, they just meants htey're so big and very awake....on a second thought it could mean that but noooo.

 

I get big pupils some times... but let's leave it there.

[Koolan]

I enjoyed the sarcastic article! she rocks my socks.

[mikymika]

Tanks for translation

[Feidhlimbrennan]

thanks for the article, it's great!

[Cambroneroj]

BTW not every single show was sold out, they got that wrong. Edited October 4, 2007 at 07:15 PM by Cambroneroj

[Céline's Blues]

BTW not every single show was sold out, they got that wrong.

I think they were quite right. Cuzz in the big picture you can say 100000% she sold out her show. Despite of some not so full night. It's MORE than apprioprate for anyone to capitalize this fact. She deserves this after all these years there.

[Teodora]

It's obviously writen by someone that hates Celine, but is smart enough to recognize her value. They give a good review to Taking Chances, that can't hurt.

[bluestar]

It's a pretty good article, sometimes cynical but not bad at all.

It talks good about Celine in a "different" way...

Thank you very much for the translation!

[mirage]

That “The Woman In Me” is one of the most beautiful songs sung by a female voice, is believed not only by her tour director Marek Lieberberg. A such raw rythym and blues number happens to Céline’s mastery not often and we will see whether she will want to let this song thrust from the concert loudspeakers instead of pomp & gloria.

 

In June and July 2008 she’ll be performing In Germany. The ticket presale begins in early November. The concerts will be soon sold out. The rest of the nation will be rolling their eyes and believe to have something better to do on the evenings of the concerts. It is possible that this rest is making a mistake on that one.

 

OMG i just love that sentence!!! whahah

I sooo not can wait for the songs!!! TWIM sounds great!!!

 

it's finally happening... the new era begins...

[gmany]

I like the article, thanks a lot!

 

I can't wait to hear "This Time" !!!