Air Canada Contest

[VanMerlin]

For all Canadian Forum members, Air Canada is hosting a contest to send you and a friend (or family member) to Celine's 500th show.

 

https://contest.aircanada.com/celinedion/we....aspx?referrer=

 

Good luck.

[Bellamy]

Canadian only.

[Ronny83]

Hopefully she will add YAI in A New Day...

[Koolan]

10 lucky winners

[Bellamy]

Hopefully she will add YAI in A New Day... 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Air Canada the new sponsor after Chrysler.

[Ronny83]

This is a satirical article about it:

 

All aboard for no-frill thrills

Final destination:

 

A Celine concert

May 2, 2006. 01:00 AM

SLINGER

 

 

"Now just a darn minute," said Robert Milton, commander-in-chief of Air Canada, the airline voted Number One in North America for reasons that have never been explained to any passenger who's flown it.

 

Milton was reading through newspaper stories about future aircraft that will have no seats and require passengers to stand during short-haul flights such as Toronto to New Delhi when he came across his own spokesperson promising Air Canada would never stoop to anything that ridiculous.

 

"Let's not get too far out on a limb," he growled.

 

No major airline can have spokespersons going around popping off like that. If anybody was going to go around popping off, it was going to be him, and he ordered the spokesperson demoted to a pilot's job.

 

The news that standing-room-only will someday be possible caught Milton in the midst of working out a scheme to deal with the luggage headache. "Checked baggage can disappear on any airline," was the point he kept coming back to. What he wanted was to find a way that his passengers could lose their carry-on.

 

A little edge like that might cement Air Canada's position as Number One for the rest of the century.

 

The week before, he had eliminated washrooms on short-haul flights such as Toronto-Mozambique non-stop (not even in Mozambique) return. Since passengers were no longer served anything to eat or drink, they no longer needed to go to the washroom, thus providing space for even more passengers — a breakthrough applauded by other carriers who saw it becoming the industry-wide standard.

 

His decision to get rid of seat backs and tray tables was also applauded, not because the elimination of food and drink eliminated the need for tray tables and seat backs to attach them to, but because of the time that would no longer be wasted making announcements (one on takeoff, one on landing) about returning them to the full, upright position, and permit the flight attendants to do more valuable things like gather in the rear of the aircraft and tell each other where they bought their shoes.

 

Another in-flight announcement he found far from cost effective was the one about fastening seatbelts, not just on takeoffs and landings but every time the plane encountered "turbulence."

 

He worried that eliminating seatbelts might be risky, especially when passengers no longer had seat backs to brace against.

 

But it would be a lot less risky if he got rid of those overhead compartments they might bump their heads on when they got tossed around. And with no overhead compartments, passengers would have to stack their carry-on in the aisles, making it easier for them to lose it in the confusion of getting off when the aircraft arrived at a terminal, which they almost always did, leading him to conclude that all the fuss about "turbulence" was so much scare-mongering.

 

With no seats at all — well! Carry-on baggage would be scattered all over the place and the chances that anybody would ever find their own would be almost zero, especially after he eliminated the landing gear to make sure the passengers got scattered all over the place too.

 

Standing-room-only brought his dream much closer to reality.

 

In the meantime he had to make do with the flurry of announcements Air Canada had recently made to maintain its industry-leading position.

 

One was in the no-frills category: wine served in juice boxes to go with the meal that Air Canada served on long-haul flights such as Toronto, three times around the world, and back to Toronto that consisted of a sandwich in which the ham had turned blue in the six months since it had been made.

 

The other was virtually anti-frills: a contest in which Air Canada will fly the winner to Celine Dion's 500th performance in Las Vegas where she will sing her latest mega-hit "Je Suis Tragique Et Skinny."

 

Milton expects this will deter everybody from flying Air Canada because of the possibility that they'll wind up getting flown to the concert by mistake. There's nothing no-frillier than being totally passenger-free.

 

Of course with no passengers, there would no longer be any need for aircraft or, for that matter, fuel.

 

Everybody in the industry knows the costs of planes and fuel are prohibitive. Get rid of them and profits will soar.

 

Robert Milton made a note to find out how much Celine would charge to let Air Canada use "Je Suis Tragique Et Skinny" as its new slogan.