Jump to content

Las Vegas Shows  

Welcome to Celine Dion Forum

Welcome to Celine Dion Forum, like most online communities you must register to view or post in our community, but don't worry this is a simple free process that requires minimal information for you to signup. Be a part of Celine Dion Forum by signing in or creating an account.
  • Start new topics and reply to others
  • Subscribe to topics and forums to get automatic updates
  • Get your own profile and make new friends
  • Customize your experience here
  • Click here to become a member!

Latura noastra poeticaDaca va omoara talentul ...


  • Please log in to reply
92 replies to this topic

#61
dark_angel

dark_angel

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 1,591
  • 1,529 posts
  • Local time: 05:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 25-February 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Bucharest, Romania
  • Country: romania
  • Born: 1988
mie imi place ideea :msn-wink: o schimbare e mereu binevenita,i think  :P

#62
raluchi

raluchi

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 1,689
  • 1,160 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 08-March 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Bucharest
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1981

celindi, on Apr 26 2006, 06:31 PM, said:

Ma mai gandeam la ceva. Sa mai rupem monotonia strofelor de 4 versuri. Cum ar fi sa adaugam un vers foarte scurt care sa rimeze cu primele 2 versuri?
Exemplu pe prima strofa:
Imi place sa privesc afara
Sa simt cum soarele coboara
Pe umeri si pe fata
Sa simt calda-i dulceata
                        Ma-nfioara...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Suna cam ciudat . Poate ar trebui ca ultimul vers sa rimeze cu penultimul. Asa nu prea are continuitate.

Imi place sa privesc afara
Sa simt cum soarele coboara
Pe umeri si pe fata
Sa simt calda-i dulceata
Ce viatza!

Nici asa parca nu suna prea bine , mai dati-va si voi cu parerea
Posted Image

#63
DjCeline

DjCeline

    unintended

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 1,144
  • 2,435 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 10-January 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Romania
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1988
poate n-ar trebui sa rimeze deloc... :P  si sa fie un fel de concluzie a strofei respective...eu stiu? :huh:
Posted Image

Posted Image Posted Image

#64
celindi

celindi

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 413
  • 1,360 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 13-November 04
  • Gender:
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1987

raluchi, on Apr 28 2006, 08:45 AM, said:

celindi, on Apr 26 2006, 06:31 PM, said:

Ma mai gandeam la ceva. Sa mai rupem monotonia strofelor de 4 versuri. Cum ar fi sa adaugam un vers foarte scurt care sa rimeze cu primele 2 versuri?
Exemplu pe prima strofa:
Imi place sa privesc afara
Sa simt cum soarele coboara
Pe umeri si pe fata
Sa simt calda-i dulceata
                        Ma-nfioara...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Suna cam ciudat . Poate ar trebui ca ultimul vers sa rimeze cu penultimul. Asa nu prea are continuitate.

Imi place sa privesc afara
Sa simt cum soarele coboara
Pe umeri si pe fata
Sa simt calda-i dulceata
Ce viatza!

Nici asa parca nu suna prea bine , mai dati-va si voi cu parerea

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Tocmai ca asa nu suna bine. Eu am citit multe peozii cu time ciudate. Adik rimau versuri aflate la 3-4 raduri distanta. Uneori devine plictisitor sa fie numai rima imperecheata sau incrucisata. Rima imbratisata merge uneori (rimeaza 1 cu 4 si 2 cu 3)
Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image                                                       Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

#65
raluca

raluca

    mais qui peut dire qu'il peut vivre sans amour, qui?

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,456
  • 3,231 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 27-May 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Abelenda, Spain
  • Country: romania
  • Born: 1989
sau am putea face asa cu rima

1-a
2-b
3-a
4-c
5-a

nush...crek m-am incurcat :huh: in fine...ca si poeziile lui Eminescu cu 5 versuri o strofa..stiti? of...acum ma exprim cam greu...
J'aimerais tant savoir
Souffler comme le vent
Sur ton doux visage
Faire partir le noir, disparaître le temps
Casser les nuages
Parler même tout bas
Juste pout toi et moi
De petits riens
Mais là-bas
Au loin, tu nages...






Posted Image
Posted Image

View all Bucharest events at Eventful

#66
celindi

celindi

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 413
  • 1,360 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 13-November 04
  • Gender:
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1987
Nu stiu poezii asa. Asta inseam,a ca exista numai o rima (a)

Cum vreti.. mai bine o lasam balta ca vad ca nu merge.
Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image                                                       Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

#67
DjCeline

DjCeline

    unintended

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 1,144
  • 2,435 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 10-January 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Romania
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1988
putem continua ca inainte? :P
Posted Image

Posted Image Posted Image

#68
celindi

celindi

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 413
  • 1,360 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 13-November 04
  • Gender:
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1987
whatvere.. nu mai am nici chef sa mai zic ceva.
so go ahead
Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image                                                       Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

#69
celindi

celindi

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 413
  • 1,360 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 13-November 04
  • Gender:
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1987
Am zis sa continuati ca inainte.
Si fara mine :P
Nu ati vazut ca publicul vrea poezii?
Ia sa vad eu cel putin 10 terminate cand ma intorc!
Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image                                                       Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

#70
DjCeline

DjCeline

    unintended

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 1,144
  • 2,435 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 10-January 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Romania
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1988
Imi place sa privesc afara
Sa simt cum soarele coboara
Pe umeri si pe fata
Sa simt calda-i dulceata

Privesc iarba cum creste
Si clipa-n aer se topeste
Aud vantul cantand
Iar sufletu-i raspunde tremurand

:lmao:
Posted Image

Posted Image Posted Image

#71
raluca

raluca

    mais qui peut dire qu'il peut vivre sans amour, qui?

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,456
  • 3,231 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 27-May 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Abelenda, Spain
  • Country: romania
  • Born: 1989
Imi place sa privesc afara
Sa simt cum soarele coboara
Pe umeri si pe fata
Sa simt calda-i dulceata

Privesc iarba cum creste
Si clipa-n aer se topeste
Aud vantul cantand
Iar sufletu-i raspunde tremurand

Melancolia ma apasa
Pe umeri-mi goi se asterne



:msn-tongue:
J'aimerais tant savoir
Souffler comme le vent
Sur ton doux visage
Faire partir le noir, disparaître le temps
Casser les nuages
Parler même tout bas
Juste pout toi et moi
De petits riens
Mais là-bas
Au loin, tu nages...






Posted Image
Posted Image

View all Bucharest events at Eventful

#72
dark_angel

dark_angel

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 1,591
  • 1,529 posts
  • Local time: 05:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 25-February 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Bucharest, Romania
  • Country: romania
  • Born: 1988
Imi place sa privesc afara
Sa simt cum soarele coboara
Pe umeri si pe fata
Sa simt calda-i dulceata

Privesc iarba cum creste
Si clipa-n aer se topeste
Aud vantul cantand
Iar sufletu-i raspunde tremurand

Melancolia ma apasa
Pe umeri-mi goi se asterne
Cu fiori ce ploaia-i cerne
Si un gol in suflet imi lasa


#73
celindi

celindi

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 413
  • 1,360 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 13-November 04
  • Gender:
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1987
Hey fetelor. Au disparut poetii din noi? Inspiratia a fugit?
Nu vreau sa cred asta.
Asa ca il readuc in actualitate incepand o noua poezie:


O stea se stinge pe cer
Si cu ea zboara si gandul meu

Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image                                                       Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

#74
raluca

raluca

    mais qui peut dire qu'il peut vivre sans amour, qui?

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,456
  • 3,231 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 27-May 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Abelenda, Spain
  • Country: romania
  • Born: 1989
O stea se stinge pe cer
Si cu ea zboara si gandul meu,
Ma prefac in umbra, zbor,
Plutesc asemeni unui zmeu.

J'aimerais tant savoir
Souffler comme le vent
Sur ton doux visage
Faire partir le noir, disparaître le temps
Casser les nuages
Parler même tout bas
Juste pout toi et moi
De petits riens
Mais là-bas
Au loin, tu nages...






Posted Image
Posted Image

View all Bucharest events at Eventful

#75
dark_angel

dark_angel

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 1,591
  • 1,529 posts
  • Local time: 05:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 25-February 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Bucharest, Romania
  • Country: romania
  • Born: 1988
O stea se stinge pe cer
Si cu ea zboara si gandul meu,
Ma prefac in umbra, zbor,
Plutesc asemeni unui zmeu.

Durerea usor se asterne
Sub aripile-mi ostenite


#76
alextrusca

alextrusca

    Celine Obsessed

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,065
  • 2,708 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 20-April 05
  • Gender:
  • From:United Kingdom, Reading
  • Country: UK
  • Born: 1988
O stea se stinge pe cer
Si cu ea zboara si gandul meu,
Ma prefac in umbra, zbor,
Plutesc asemeni unui zmeu.


Durerea usor se asterne
Sub aripile-mi ostenite,
Tamplele-mi de suferinta
Pier sub cea mai apriga sentinta...


#77
raluca

raluca

    mais qui peut dire qu'il peut vivre sans amour, qui?

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,456
  • 3,231 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 27-May 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Abelenda, Spain
  • Country: romania
  • Born: 1989
O stea se stinge pe cer
Si cu ea zboara si gandul meu,
Ma prefac in umbra, zbor,
Plutesc asemeni unui zmeu.


Durerea usor se asterne
Sub aripile-mi ostenite,
Tamplele-mi de suferinta
Pier sub cea mai apriga sentinta...

La fel cum omenirea-odat
Cadea din Rai intr-un pacat

J'aimerais tant savoir
Souffler comme le vent
Sur ton doux visage
Faire partir le noir, disparaître le temps
Casser les nuages
Parler même tout bas
Juste pout toi et moi
De petits riens
Mais là-bas
Au loin, tu nages...






Posted Image
Posted Image

View all Bucharest events at Eventful

#78
alextrusca

alextrusca

    Celine Obsessed

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,065
  • 2,708 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 20-April 05
  • Gender:
  • From:United Kingdom, Reading
  • Country: UK
  • Born: 1988
O stea se stinge pe cer
Si cu ea zboara si gandul meu,
Ma prefac in umbra, zbor,
Plutesc asemeni unui zmeu.

Durerea usor se asterne
Sub aripile-mi ostenite,
Tamplele-mi de suferinta
Pier sub cea mai apriga sentinta...

La fel cum omenirea-odat
Cadea din Rai intr-un pacat,

La fel Soarele si Luna
Sa plateasca acelasi pret intotdeauna.

#79
raluca

raluca

    mais qui peut dire qu'il peut vivre sans amour, qui?

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,456
  • 3,231 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 27-May 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Abelenda, Spain
  • Country: romania
  • Born: 1989
O stea se stinge pe cer
Si cu ea zboara si gandul meu,
Ma prefac in umbra, zbor,
Plutesc asemeni unui zmeu.

Durerea usor se asterne
Sub aripile-mi ostenite,
Tamplele-mi de suferinta
Pier sub cea mai apriga sentinta...

La fel cum omenirea-odat
Cadea din Rai intr-un pacat,
La fel si Soarele si Luna
Sa plateasc-acelasi pret intotdeauna.

Caci miracolul se naste-atunci
Cand suflete toate se-aduna


Alex sper ca nu te superi ca am modificat un pic la versurile tale. mi se pare ca suna mai bine asa. daca nu iti place, atunci poti modifica inapoi :flowers:
J'aimerais tant savoir
Souffler comme le vent
Sur ton doux visage
Faire partir le noir, disparaître le temps
Casser les nuages
Parler même tout bas
Juste pout toi et moi
De petits riens
Mais là-bas
Au loin, tu nages...






Posted Image
Posted Image

View all Bucharest events at Eventful

#80
alextrusca

alextrusca

    Celine Obsessed

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,065
  • 2,708 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 20-April 05
  • Gender:
  • From:United Kingdom, Reading
  • Country: UK
  • Born: 1988
O stea se stinge pe cer
Si cu ea zboara si gandul meu,
Ma prefac in umbra, zbor,
Plutesc asemeni unui zmeu.

Durerea usor se asterne
Sub aripile-mi ostenite,
Tamplele-mi de suferinta
Pier sub cea mai apriga sentinta...

La fel cum omenirea-odat
Cadea din Rai intr-un pacat,
La fel...Soarele si Luna
Platesc acelasi pret dintotdeauna.

Miracolul se naste-atunci
Cand sufletele toate se-aduna,
Eliberand noaptea de naluci
Ce-au creat din vis furtuna...

#81
raluca

raluca

    mais qui peut dire qu'il peut vivre sans amour, qui?

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,456
  • 3,231 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 27-May 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Abelenda, Spain
  • Country: romania
  • Born: 1989
O stea se stinge pe cer
Si cu ea zboara si gandul meu,
Ma prefac in umbra, zbor,
Plutesc asemeni unui zmeu.

Durerea usor se asterne
Sub aripile-mi ostenite,
Tamplele-mi de suferinta
Pier sub cea mai apriga sentinta...

La fel cum omenirea-odat
Cadea din Rai intr-un pacat,
La fel...Soarele si Luna
Platesc acelasi pret dintotdeauna.

Miracolul se naste-atunci
Cand sufletele toate se-aduna,
Eliberand noaptea de naluci
Ce-au creat din vis furtuna...

E glasul ce trezeste-n tine
Speranta, parfum de iubire

J'aimerais tant savoir
Souffler comme le vent
Sur ton doux visage
Faire partir le noir, disparaître le temps
Casser les nuages
Parler même tout bas
Juste pout toi et moi
De petits riens
Mais là-bas
Au loin, tu nages...






Posted Image
Posted Image

View all Bucharest events at Eventful

#82
celindi

celindi

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 413
  • 1,360 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 13-November 04
  • Gender:
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1987
Indrumari

O stea se stinge pe cer
Si cu ea zboara si gandul meu,
Ma prefac in umbra, zbor,
Plutesc asemeni unui zmeu.

Durerea usor se asterne
Sub aripile-mi ostenite,
Tamplele-mi de suferinta
Pier sub cea mai apriga sentinta...

La fel cum omenirea-odat
Cadea din Rai intr-un pacat,
La fel...Soarele si Luna
Platesc acelasi pret dintotdeauna.

Miracolul se naste-atunci
Cand sufletele toate se-aduna,
Eliberand noaptea de naluci
Ce-au creat din vis furtuna...

E glasul ce trezeste-n tine
Speranta, parfum de iubire
Glasul ce te-nvata sa traiesti
Si pururi sa-nveti sa iubesti


Si uite asa eu am inceput poezie, eu am terminat-o :P
Cam lame sfarsitul, dar nu am vrut sa dispara iar topicul :P

Si m-am hotarat sa pun titlu si la poezia de 3 strofe care a ramas neterminata cand am inceput-o eu pe asta nu stiu ce a fost in capul meu). Ata ete - avem o poezie mai scurta :P.

Ploaie de ganduri

Imi place sa privesc afara
Sa simt cum soarele coboara
Pe umeri si pe fata
Sa simt calda-i dulceata

Privesc iarba cum creste
Si clipa-n aer se topeste
Aud vantul cantand
Iar sufletu-i raspunde tremurand

Melancolia ma apasa
Pe umeri-mi goi se asterne
Cu fiori ce ploaia-i cerne
Si un gol in suflet imi lasa


Si in sfarsit, dupa regula, primele 2 versuri de la urmatoarea poezie:

Sa crezi ca poti pasi mai departe,
Sa crezi ca inca mai exista un maine,

Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image                                                       Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

#83
celindi

celindi

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 413
  • 1,360 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 13-November 04
  • Gender:
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1987
sa inteleg ca v-ati plictisit.
atunci de rog, Manu, inchide topicul.
Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image                                                       Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

#84
raluca

raluca

    mais qui peut dire qu'il peut vivre sans amour, qui?

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,456
  • 3,231 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 27-May 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Abelenda, Spain
  • Country: romania
  • Born: 1989

celindi, on Jan 17 2007, 06:18 PM, said:

sa inteleg ca v-ati plictisit.
atunci de rog, Manu, inchide topicul.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


nu e vorba de plictiseala, ci lipsa de timp si inspiratie...
J'aimerais tant savoir
Souffler comme le vent
Sur ton doux visage
Faire partir le noir, disparaître le temps
Casser les nuages
Parler même tout bas
Juste pout toi et moi
De petits riens
Mais là-bas
Au loin, tu nages...






Posted Image
Posted Image

View all Bucharest events at Eventful

#85
DjCeline

DjCeline

    unintended

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 1,144
  • 2,435 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 10-January 05
  • Gender:
  • From:Romania
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1988
nu am sa inchid topicul...pentru ca...oricand mai e vreme si de putina poezie...deci cine vrea, cine doreste sa mai scoata 2 versuri e invitat sa spuna aici... :flowers:
Posted Image

Posted Image Posted Image

#86
asiii m

asiii m

    Celine Freak

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 13,133
  • 707 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 25-June 07
  • Gender:
  • From:Bucharest, Romania
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1991
Sa crezi ca poti pasi mai departe,
Sa crezi ca inca mai exista un maine,
Insemna sa te desiri la talpile dorintei
Dand din nou apa izvorului credintei.



Deci, Deea... vroiam de mai multa vreme sa continui versurile tale. Nu am pastrat rima pt ca nu am putut. Dar daca o citesti cu voce tare ai sa vezi ca nu se simte foarte tare ca nu au rima decat ultimele doua versuri.  :innocent:

Sau putem sa punem niste versuri cu care sa rimeze ale tale, si pe astealalte le punem la alta strofa sau le dam uitarii. :blushing1:

Sa crezi ca poti pasi mai departe,
Sa crezi ca inca mai exista un maine,
Insemana sa faci sa rasune din soapte
Ecouri care sa invie vechile ruine.

Some people have everything - they have nothing.

May 21st, 2008 - Paris, Bercy & November 22nd, 2013 - Antwerpen, Sportpaleis


#87
celindi

celindi

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 413
  • 1,360 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 13-November 04
  • Gender:
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1987
Cred ca imi place mai mult a doua varianta - nu pentru ca rimeaza cu ce am scris eu - doar asa... imi plac :D

Sa crezi ca poti pasi mai departe,
Sa crezi ca inca mai exista un maine,
Insemana sa faci sa rasune din soapte
Ecouri care sa invie vechile ruine.

Si printre ploi de lacrimi si suspine
Sa poti vedea apusul si rasaritul care vine

Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image                                                       Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

#88
asiii m

asiii m

    Celine Freak

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 13,133
  • 707 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 25-June 07
  • Gender:
  • From:Bucharest, Romania
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1991
Off, Deea, se complica trebutire. la prima strofa aveam "aproape" rima incrucisata, iar la versurile tale care incep a doua strofa rima e imperecheata  :whistling: sa vedem ce putem scoate:

Sa crezi ca poti pasi mai departe,
Sa crezi ca inca mai exista un maine,
Insemana sa faci sa rasune din soapte
Ecouri care sa invie vechile ruine.

Si printre ploi de lacrimi si suspine
Sa poti vedea apusul si rasaritul care vine
Inseamna sa redai eroului din tine
Speranta, apoi curajul ce i se cuvine.

Daca suna naspa repetitia lui  "inseamna" puteti sa schimbati. eu am pastrat monorima  :innocent: va invit sa faceti si cu mine o poezioara si pe ceilalti  :down:
Some people have everything - they have nothing.

May 21st, 2008 - Paris, Bercy & November 22nd, 2013 - Antwerpen, Sportpaleis


#89
alextrusca

alextrusca

    Celine Obsessed

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 2,065
  • 2,708 posts
  • Local time: 11:06 PM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 20-April 05
  • Gender:
  • From:United Kingdom, Reading
  • Country: UK
  • Born: 1988
apusul si rasaritul care vin, ca "e" mai multe  :nono:

#90
celindi

celindi

    Celine Enthusiast

  • Channel Addicts
  • PipPipPipPipPip
    • Member ID: 413
  • 1,360 posts
  • Local time: 12:06 AM
  • Skin: Celine 2016
  • Joined: 13-November 04
  • Gender:
  • Country: Romania
  • Born: 1987
mda.. mersi... at sa aud asta din partea cuiva care scrie poezii.
Imi pare rau ca nu ai inteleg ca aici nu era vorba de subiect multiplu. "apusul" este "acum" iar rasaritul este singurul care VINE.
Posted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image                                                       Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


This topic has been visited by 0 user(s)



Administrators: Koolan & Bellamy